About the Author
Writer/performer Barry Yourgrau has been making people laugh their heads off--or gasp in astonishment--with such books as Wearing Dad's Head and A Man Jumps Out of An Airplane. He's startled everyone with his appearances on MTV and National Public Radio. He even starred in a movie based on his writings, and in a music video too. He teased the world with his first book for kids, My Curious Uncle Dudley. Barry woke up one day in the US as a kid. Now Barry's ready to unleash the hysterically dark fun and games from the deepest dark of his soul. "With my NASTYbook," grins Barry, nastily, "I invite you to share in those cruel, twisted and shockingly mischeivous delights I know you secretly adore--if you dare!" He got there all the way from South Africa, he claims... Or is this just another of his jokes?
Yet Another NASTYbook
A kid named Edgar fools around and accidentally swallows his cell phone.
How this happens is too complicated to explain here. The point is, Edgar's already late for school.
He rushes into the building. It's a place of enormous pressure. Students are warned not to waste precious seconds gabbing on cell phones—especially students with report-card "issues," like Edgar.
He sweats at his desk. He prays for no calls, or for the cell-phone batteries to have run out. No such luck. Horrified, he hears the cute little ringing tune jingling away in his stomach. His teacher and classmates hear too. They stare. Desperately Edgar pretends he's producing the tune himself. He grins, maneuvering his lips.
"My new trick for Parents' Day," he gasps, when there's silence at last. "Pretty cool, huh?"
No one agrees. The teacher frowns suspiciously.
By lunchtime Edgar is a nervous wreck, twisting his lips as call after call comes in.
Then the principal wants to see him.
Edgar stands trembling at the principal's big desk. He blurts out the truth of his ludicrous and irresponsible condition. He pleads for mercy, promises to do extra assignments to make up for any lost class time.
Right on cue, yet another call starts to jingle away inside him.
"Swallowed your cell phone," repeats the principal, scowling and baffled. "How on earth . . . ?" He wheezes, peculiarly. "I mean, swallowing, say, a harmonica, that I can understand. But a cell phone?"
The principal shakes his head.A tune toots up from his lips, exactly like a harmonica playing. And this functions as the painfully cute musical intro to what follows, when he suspends poor ringing-jingling Edgar on the spot.Yet Another NASTYbook
MiniNasties. Copyright � by Barry Yourgrau. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.