What Will Happen to Me: Every Night, Approximately Three Million Children Go To Bed With A Parent In Pri

What Will Happen to Me: Every Night, Approximately Three Million Children Go To Bed With A Parent In Pri

by Howard Zehr

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          What is life like for a child who has a parent in prison? This book brings together photographic portraits of 30 children whose parents are incarcerated, along with their thoughts and reflections, in their own words. As Taylor says, "I want other kids to know that, even though your parents are locked up, they're not bad people. "And I want them to know that we'll get through it. As long as we have someone there to help us, we can get through it. It makes you stronger."           The material in "What Will Happen to Me?" has been gathered and written by two nationally-recognized experts. Howard Zehr is known around the world as the "grandfather of restorative justice." He lectures and consults internationally on that topic and related issues. He is currently a member of the Victims Advisory Group of the U.S. Sentencing Commission.           Lorraine Stutzman Amstutz travels the U.S. doing mediation work in severe crime cases. She provides consulting and training for agencies and communities seeking to implement programs of restorative justice. This book of portraits and text includes: Reflections of several grandparents who are unexpectedly parenting children whose parents are incarcerated. "Ten Questions Often Asked by Children." "Dealing with Emotions"—including grief and loss, shame and stigma, anger and isolation. Resources for "Staying in Touch," "Finding Moments of Celebration," "Adjusting to a Parent's Return," "Self-Care for Family Caregivers," and "Suggestions for Third-Party Caregivers." "The Children's Bill of Rights," along with thoughtful consideration about how to apply restorative justice and respect for relationships in these difficult situations.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781680990348
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Publication date: 01/27/2015
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 94
File size: 6 MB

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What Will Happen to Me: Every Night, Approximately Three Million Children Go To Bed With A Parent In Pri 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
notoriousspinks on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
As adults we often get caught up in our emotions. We fail to think about how our actions affect the children in our midst. What Will Happen to Me?, authors Howard Zehr and Lorraine Stutzman Amstutz give voices to the children who often go unheard. "Life would¿ve been different if my parents hadn¿t been in prison. I would have been graduating high school this year, going to senior prom, and doing all the other stuff kids do instead of growing up too fast."Those are the words of Brittany. Her mom went to jail when she was 3-years-old and her father went to jail when her mom got out. Brittany was 18-years-old when she told her story and admits that she didn¿t think she would live to see 16.There are many stories just like Brittany¿s in this book. I often found myself stopping to thank God on many occasions because I didn¿t have it as bad as them or so I thought. I can relate to their stories. I didn¿t have an incarcerated parent but I remember the childhood feelings of wanting my dad around and wondering why he wasn¿t there. I took many of those feelings into early adulthood with me. Now that I think about it, there were very few of my friends who had fathers around. I just wanted him to be a dad to me like he was to my little sister. Present and accounted for. These days I know it was his lost not mine. I loved that the authors broke the book into three sections¿Part I includes the faces of the children with their stories. There is nothing like hearing the truth from a child. We know that children will be honest in spite of our feelings.Part II has stories from the caregivers of the children with both parents absent. I find it so sad that no one steps in to help many of them. "I asked for the same thing for Christmas and for my birthday from my family: for two hours on top of Spruce Knob by myself. I didn¿t get it. That¿s all I ask for. If they would just take the boys so I can go out on the mountain for two hours by myself, that¿s all I ask for. But I didn¿t get it. ~~Martha Arey"This section also includes pointers and tips for dealing with children during this time. Just like adults, children are full of emotions and they should be treated as such. When I used to do home visits I always reminded my clients that they¿re raising little people who have likes, dislikes and emotions.Part III covers the topic as it pertains to justice and how we as a community can work to restore justice. Incarceration alone is not enough. There are families who are affected by this in such ways that it has become a generational curse. "I was serving time with a woman who had only 10 years to do. Twenty years later, some kid comes up to me and says, ¿Aren¿t you Ms. Mechie?¿¿Ms. Mechie is serving life in prison and her parents were incarcerated. According to research done by the authors, children with incarcerated parents are five times more likely to become prisoners themselves.This book really made me think about the examples we¿re setting as a democratic nation when we have more people incarcerated than any other nation. However, we deem ourselves worthy to help other nations fight for democracy. If I were on the outside looking in¿the U.S. has rates of infant mortality higher than a Third World country and more citizens imprisoned than any other nation, etc. ¿I¿m not sure I¿d want democracy in my country if this is the fate of a country with it. Seriously¿I recommend this book for anyone who is serious about making a difference in the lives of others. You may not be a social worker or a teacher but as a member of our community we come into contact with people from various walks of life. We need to open our minds to understand the struggles of others better so that we can lend a hand to lift them up and/or encourage them. As a part-time substitute teacher in an impoverished neighborhood, I can only imagine how many of the children have parents incarcerated but they come to school in efforts to make the best
TheRomerReviewer More than 1 year ago
Incarceration is no joke, and often it has become status quo for wrong doers to be meted out punishment for their misdeeds. But what about the children who are faced with growing up without parents who will not be their for them? Is it conceivable too, to say that there's problematic issues with the fact that at least 3 million children (an counting!) who have one or both parents in prison? They face, and are dealing with challenges and hardships through their own voices, and by way of the caregivers, grandparents, teachers, school counselors and social workers who are raising and interacting with them daily. Their stories and thoughts are unique. Authors Howard Zehr and Lorraine Stutzman-Amstutz decided it wasn't robbery to give voice, visibility and vitality to these oft-forgotten children in their superb book, 'What Will Happen To Me?' Not least of which shouldn't be understated are the importance also of the portraits supplied by Mr. Zehr as adjunct photographer bolstering the impact of the visual effects to the subject matter therein. What Will Happen To Me are the effects of how unfortunate circumstances and the unforgiving policies in the judiciary system can have adverse ramifications on families that are suffering the consequences. Sobering words and heartfelt lamentations abound from what has been showcased in this book. The authors were erudite in capturing not only the essence of what research methodology is supposed to be when exposing accumulative data, but also quite proficient in suggesting relative topical issues and strategies that may be beneficial to both the children and others associated with this malady. Part one deals with various statements from children interviewed juxtaposed with full-color poignancy. If a picture is akin to a 1,000 words then you will be mesmerized with expressions that can't be ignored. The faces of the children with their stories are powerful! The message is the hope for change, and the need for the public to embrace their plight. Part two offers a look into what the caregivers are going through and information given for them which includes 10 questions that are obvious prompts that offer extensions to mindsets of children who are victimized by the circumstances surrounding incarcerated parents. These questions are typical of the breath and depth of what should be apropos for levels of commitment to rectify consequences relative to experiences associated with ill-treatments from schoolmates, familial attachments, adults who are ambivalent to their plight, and from those who are concerned but mired in the bureaucratic malaise that often accompany the judiciary system. Part three covers the topic as it pertains preventive measures and a sense of jurisprudence where t communities can, and should be working to restore corrective initiatives to help than hinder. I rated the book 5 stars -- go out and buy it where good books are sold!