From acclaimed comedy writer Brian McCann comes Wannabe Farms, the insanely funny, rhyming collection of stories that asks the question: What do farmyard animals really want to do with their lives?
Welcome to Wannabe Farms, a farmyard where the animals like to wonder and dream, plot and scheme, and definitely not act how they're supposed to. In rhyming verse, Brian McCann (writer for Conan O'Brien) shows us what happens when cows want to drive, pigs dream of being sophisticates, and sheep take their hairstyles into their own hands (well, hooves). Together, what emerges is a delightful, hysterical romp through the farmyard, as animals discover the place where dreams meet their limits, and the power of adjusted expectations.
With hilarious two-color illustrations on every spread, this collection of stories brings Shel Silverstein and Old MacDonald together in a way readers young and old have never seen before!
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About the Author
Meghan Lands is an illustrator, cartoonist, and storyboard artist based in Montreal, Canada. Her client list includes Owl Magazine, Annick Press, The Nib, Narratively, and more. Her comic, Rejected Anthology Submission, was shortlisted for the 2016 Slate Cartoonist Studio Prize. She loves to draw people and animals and bugs.
Read an Excerpt
The Introduction to the Book You Are Reading
(It’s supposed to set up the story. I hope it works!)
Have you ever wondered what animals think?
Do they ever get bored?
Do they mind that they stink?
Do they look to the sky?
Do they stare at the stars?
Do they know that we’re sending spaceships to Mars?
Do they ever feel jealous?
Or happy? Or sad?
Do they ever think fondly of a meal they just had?
The answers to these questions are:
you must have, yes, no, yes, yes, no,
yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Hey! That didn’t rhyme!
What’s the deal with this book?!
Is it filled with good stories or just gobbledygook?
Well, gobbledygook is a very good thing.
You might be surprised at the joy it can bring.
But these are good stories,
epic and true,
I’m lying to you.
But you’ll enjoy them, I promise.
Grab a hot chocolate to drink
’cause it’s time to discover what animals think.
Now, at this point you’re probably wondering how I know what animals think. Am I a mind reader? Was I raised by wolves? Did an evil doctor implant a microchip in my brain that allows me to have telepathic communications with our four-legged friends? Those are all great theories, but none are correct. The truth is, I don’t know for sure what animals are thinking. I’m just a human being, and human beings don’t have superpowers. But I’m a very good judge of character, and when it comes to the stories in this book, I’m pretty sure I’m right about what the animals were thinking. So, let me continue . . .
There’s a farm in the country,
a sweet little place,
where life moves along at a leisurely pace.
It’s not far from the city,
the traffic, and crowds,
but instead of bright lights,
it has puffy white clouds.
It goes by the name of
It’s quiet and quaint with no shortage of charms.
There’s a stream, and a lake,
and a big old red barn.
You’ll find milk, you’ll find eggs,
you’ll find large spools of yarn.
For the animals there life is simple and slow.
They eat and they sleep,
they watch the grass grow.
But the world all around them is building and growing,
and this gets them thinking,
and ideas start flowing.
They start to have wishes.
They hatch plots and schemes.
They start to think bigger.
They start to have dreams.
But on Wannabe Farms,
dreams never come true,
at least not the way dreams usually do.
Is that bad? Is that sad?
No, it’s not, not at all.
Pursuing a dream is the point of it all.
So, hold tight the book at the end of your arms,
and I’ll tell you what happened on . . .