Adolescent girls face numerous issues in today’s world, and they could use a reliable road map to help them navigate the various obstacles they might face.
Unzip the Adolescent Chick offers a go-to reference for the twentyfirst- century teenage girl. You have free will and are able to make choices regarding important decisions both for your present and your future. Author Ann Carni, speaking from experience, shares information on how responsible actions now will lead you to the treasures down the road, including tips on the following:
• Choosing to believe you are more than capable
• Resisting temptations that will eventually screw you
• Making good impressions with potential employers
• Avoiding undesirables on social media
• Dressing from drab to fab with your own unique style
• Enjoying a wealthy lifestyle through simple finance tips
• Choosing a loving partner who respects and cherishes you
• Choosing your dream career and/or motherhood
• Increasing your vibrational energy through a healthy diet and Fitness
Addressing real issues that affect the young women of today— bullying, mental illness, suicide, fad diets, contraception, tattoos, body piercings, and much more—this guide seeks to help them avoid the pitfalls all teenage girls face.
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Read an Excerpt
Unzip The Adolescent Chick
Facing All Your Teenage Concerns and Fears Head On and Overcoming Them Triumphantly
By Ann Carni
Balboa PressCopyright © 2016 Ann Carni
All rights reserved.
YOU ARE ENOUGH
A warm welcome to those who have chosen this self-help book. I am grateful for you allowing me the privilege to assist you during your adolescent years. My hope is that by reading these chapters, you will become a confident young woman, ready to tackle life with gusto and determination.
Has anyone ever called you stupid or used other derogatory names, making you feel like you're a worthless nobody? It's hurtful, right?
Your first thoughts are embarrassment and anger. Then you want to retaliate by lashing out at the other person, or you may feel completely numb and can't even speak.
These are all emotions you feel, so how do you handle yourself in a situation that calls for decorum and mature behaviour? First, you acknowledge these feelings, and with all your strength and power, try to stay calm. The simplest approach is to say something like, "Would you mind repeating that?" or, and walk away if possible.
In chapter 13, I walk you through how to set boundaries for yourself to become confidently reassured in a situation like this.
When someone says something horrible to another person, it's really about the person speaking, so don't take it personally.
When I was kindergarten, I was told by the choir teacher to stop singing and for everyone else to sing. Then, in front of everyone, the teacher looked at me and said, "She's the one singing out of tune." I wasn't even aware I was singing out of tune; I didn't have that concept as a five-year-old. Can you imagine how absolutely heartbroken I was? I believed I couldn't sing.
Do you think I got over this incident?
No way I held onto the belief that I couldn't sing if my life depended upon it for many years. Children and teenagers are very impressionable, and while I think most parents, church leaders, and schoolteachers do good jobs, they forget the important fact that they are responsible for many shattered lives through senseless, hurtful words.
Some children and teenagers have been physically and mentally abused and let down badly by those in authority.
These young ones have mistakenly been classified as disruptive and labelled by many as troublemakers.
Now that you are a teenager, you have it on your own authority to not let others beat you down with their hurtful words and actions. So pick yourself up and dust yourself off because you are more capable than you have been led to believe. Acknowledging you are good enough just the way you are is the first step in empowerment.
As you approach adolescence and start making your own decisions in life, decide to stop allowing other people's circumstances and comments to rule you. The scars that we carry from hurtful words and physical abuse can last for decades. So please don't let other people's opinions or words steal your joy and happiness. Don't let circumstances define who you are. You are capable of being someone special.
You have to believe you are enough.
I grew up in a home with two parents and my two older brothers, Peter and Glenn. We siblings enjoyed a wonderful childhood.
My dad was a petty officer in the Royal Australian Navy and later an office worker in charge of superannuation at AIAS Port Kembla steelworks. My mum loved being the homemaker and was skilled in sewing, knitting, and crocheting.
We greedily indulged in her home style cooking and yummy pastry treats. Looking back now, I don't think we had a lot of money, but we never went hungry or without. My parents later enjoyed many years taking care of welfare children in family group homes in Sydney and left me in charge of our family home when I was around eighteen years old. They must have thought I was mature and responsible. How wrong they were.
During my high school years, I played basketball and hockey and enjoyed practice sessions and team games. As a teenager, I loved all the creative arts, like painting, pottery, dancing, knitting, and sewing. Unfortunately, I was always comparing myself to others and believing I wasn't good enough. We can never have our time again, but I would say to my younger self, "Keep practicing, and be a better version of yourself than yesterday." As a parent, I have always instilled in my children to do the best they can with what they have, keep going, and they will become better.
Even if you come last but tried your hardest, you are enough just by participating.
Learning a new skill takes practice, patience, persistence, and determination. It is all part of the journey. If someone offers criticism, and you don't agree with what they say, let the words wash over your head and keep doing what you're doing. If, on the flip side of the coin, the criticism is constructive and you agree it is helpful, that brings you closer to your goals.
The teacher who said I was singing out of tune never said I couldn't sing. The saddest thing is what I assumed she said and believed in my mind all these years. And it's sometimes true for all of us. The words and our thoughts get twisted, and we imagine stories or scenarios that never happened. When we look at our peers, we perceive them to be confident, perfect role models with ideal lives. This is not true. Most people are hiding behind the smiles, putting up good fronts.
We think others are looking at us all the time when actually they aren't; they have their own insecurities. The secret is to not let our emotions control us. As long as we acknowledge that we aren't perfect and are true to our feelings, we have the power to hide them from the world also.
Just look at some famous people. When they first started out, some were perceived by some as failures or not good enough.
Thomas Edison, who invented the light bulb, was told he was "too stupid to learn anything and fired from his first two jobs. He said, "I haven't failed; I've just found ten thousand ways that didn't work."
Oprah Winfrey had an abusive childhood and numerous career setbacks. While auditioning for her first job as a television reporter, she was told she was unfit for television. Wow, take a look at her achievements now. Do you think she listened to her critics? No, she went after something she wanted more than anything else.
Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation for an engineering job, leaving him jobless for some time. He started building scooters at his home, and neighbours encouraged him to start his own business. Of course, it's now a billion-dollar business.
Stephen King is one of the best-selling authors of all time. This nearly didn't happen, because his first book, the thriller Carrie, received thirty rejections, finally causing him to throw it in the bin. His wife retrieved it and encouraged him to resubmit it. The rest is history.
Of course, everyone is familiar with the author J. K. Rowling, who wrote the harry potter books. This single mum's manuscript was rejected about fifty times before she had her first book published. Now she is living a dream life. She said, "I am enough," and believed in herself.
Although the irony is she never mentioned she was a woman. She only wrote her Christian name as initials, so the publishers just assumed whoever wrote the book was a man: a clever tactic. But it's such a stigma that women still have to resort to this ploy. It's shameful for this generation.
There are countless others who never stopped believing that they could change the world by making a difference.
Did they listen to others or give up on their goals, dreams, and hopes? No.
Can you imagine if these famous people had given up on their dreams and believed what others said about them and thought, they said I'm not good enough? How cheated the world would have been if they didn't show up, for they have enriched our lives forever.
It wasn't that long ago that white and coloured persons couldn't by law, associate together and were segregated.
In December 1955, Rosa Parks, an American black woman, defied the law by refusing to give up her seat to a white man. Three other black riders sat in the same row, one next to Rosa Parks, the other two across the aisle.
When the bus driver demanded that all four passengers give up their seats to white folks, the three other riders reluctantly got up. All the black riders were now at the back, and all the whites at the front.
Rosa Parks sat between them, a brave, solitary figure, marking the painful boundary between races. "As I sat there, I tried not to think about what might happen. I knew that anything was possible. I could be manhandled or beaten. I could be arrested. The time had just come when I had been pushed as far as I could stand to be pushed, I suppose. I had decided that I would have to know, once and for all, what rights I had as a human being, and a citizen."
Sometimes it's worth standing up for your principles and what's right. It's having the guts to believe in yourself; "I am good enough." Just as Rosa Parks believed that she and all black Americans have civil rights, you also are not to believe you're second class. You are worthy of a life of greatness. Never believe that you are beneath others; you are equal.
And sometimes we make mistakes so we can best learn from them. Fear of failure can lead to a stifled life, one of mediocrity, and you end up as an underachiever.
That's not living. Don't die with a song or painting still in you. Embrace life, boost your energy levels, have no fear of failure, take a risk, learn to grow, and try harder.
If you fail at first, don't give up. Change your approach, change the attitude, have fun and just keep going.
Whatever you do in your personal, school or career life, if you follow the above rules, you'll be on your way to become an achiever of your dreams. I had a dream to write a book for many years and now I'm living that dream, I stopped listening to my disbelieving words that I wasn't good enough.
I want to encourage you to try new things.
Stretch yourself and have some fun, because you don't know what you are capable of achieving until you try.
Never listen to the irritating monkey chatter that's inside your head. That's the voice that wants you to fail and give up before you're even started. "You're going to fail, so why bother starting, you moron".
The negative people in your life could be a parent, best friend, relative, boyfriend, schoolteacher or neighbour. Don't waste your time listening to them, walk away. Yes, it's a little difficult to walk out of a school classroom or walk out of your family home physically, but mentally you can. Just keep repeating silently to yourself, "I am enough," several times and you'll start to believe it.
Don't be defined by your circumstances or someone else's.
Never listen or give up on something just because someone says you suck at it. With practice and perseverance, you could be the next best computer programmer, inventor, writer, musician, or actress.
Make it a habit every morning and every evening for thirty days to say to yourself, "I am enough," out loud so it becomes a habit.
And you are enough, believe in yourself and with the right attitude you can achieve the impossible, so instil this in your conscious mind.
If God cares about the birds and flowers and every hair on your head, He must think you're worth everything. It all begins with saying these words, "I am enough," and yes, you are. You are born for a purpose, and my hope is you will find that purpose for your life. In chapter two, you may just find what you need.CHAPTER 2
YOUR INTENTIONS AND DREAMS
Impossible is just a big word thrown by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare.
Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.
If you are like most adolescents, you'll have a never-ending list of goals and dreams you want to achieve. Maybe you want to have a career, own a company, be married, have children or travel the world seeking adventure. But before you charge full steam ahead and map out your life, it's best to take the roads with the least speed humps and traffic lights. Many of you will need the maturity to make grown-up decisions, but it's a little scary and stressful in an unknown world. Some of you may not even like making decisions, but in fact, not making a decision is a decision.
And there are some who just follow others like little lambs and do whatever their friends do or say.
If you are in the process of making a decision, always ask yourself, "is this the best option for me?" before making your final choice.
Some major decisions take longer to decide, so it's best to write down on a piece of paper all the positives and negatives. Does your decision feel right, or do you feel like your stomach is tied up in knots? I encourage you to think very carefully about your future as you prepare to make some of the most important decisions in your teenage years because those decisions may have a bearing on your future. Of course, nothing needs to be set in concrete; you can change your mind, and you do have free will.
What your friends have decided is no concern, you are your own person and capable of deciding what's best for only you. Of course, it's always good and advisable to have an adult's perspective or opinion on big decisions that will affect your future. Believe it or not, adults do have a lot of knowledge and expertise that you may not have even considered.
Write down your goals and dreams with the idea of reviewing them weekly to see if you are on track.
Dreams can be challenging, because they will involve imagination, work, and sacrifice on your part. Intentions can be dreams, but if you have veered off course a little, with good guidance you can get back on track.
We can all have good intentions, but without the follow-up steps towards your dreams, it will amount to zero.
I want you to fully participate in giving this exercise your best shot, so write down all your goals and dreams on a large sheet of paper.
No matter how unbelievable and out of reach you think they are, it will be well worth the effort.
So let's make this interesting. Can you come up with one hundred goals or dreams?
Also, never say a goal in the negative, for example, saying, "I want a partner who does not smoke or drink." It's better instead to say, "I would like a partner who is strong, fit, and well-toned and loves to workout at the gym."
This is the difference. Because you will attract what you think and say, always place your dreams in a positive frame of mind.
I am sure you will come up with lots of ideas. Don't be afraid to write down all your dreams and goals with a time frame next to it.
For example, if you wrote down, "I want a new haircut and colour," this could be a time frame of next week, but if you wanted to own a unit in Sydney, this may take you another fifteen years.
Just write everything down. Don't worry about how you are going to get it; this will unfold and become reality.
Now you have finished your list. Next, I want you to place your goals into different lists so that they are all categorized like subfolders on a computer.
So grab another sheet of paper, and on the top of the page, starting from the left-hand side, write down "career" or "study goal." And then going across the page, write "personal goal", then "dream goal", then "money goal," then, "health goal" and lastly, "contribution goal."
Now from the list on the first piece of paper, find what you wrote down as a career goal and write this under your career list and also the time frame. Imagine for this exercise you wanted to become a lawyer and it will take you seven years of study at the university, but you're only in year eight in high school.
It will take you eleven years, more or less, to finish studying and get your degree as a lawyer.
You say, "Oh no, this will take too long. Is this something that I really want more than anything else in the world? Am I willing to sacrifice my time for the next eleven years to fulfil my dream career?"
Listen, nobody said it would be easy. A degree is not handed to you on a silver plate, or else everyone would be doing it. It takes tons of time, effort, and focus to pursue your dreams and goals.
If it's a matter of money: then you will need to have a conversation with your parents about the affordability. Maybe they have saved money for your education, or you have obtained a scholarship to help pay for your school fees.
The other option is for you to apply for government assistance and repay the course fees when you have finished studying and have paid work. Now your course may not be available at your local university, so you will need to move away from home to do your studies.
Find out if you are eligible then go to Government Centre Link and apply for a full or part payment of the "living away from home student allowance".
Excerpted from Unzip The Adolescent Chick by Ann Carni. Copyright © 2016 Ann Carni. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 You Are Enough, 1,
Chapter 2 Your Intentions and Dreams, 8,
Chapter 3 Tempting Addictions, 20,
Chapter 4 Unzip Your Fashion Style, 32,
Chapter 5 Be a Money Magnet, 43,
Chapter 6 Friends, Love, and Contraception, 52,
Chapter 7 Diet, Health, and Fitness, 63,
Chapter 8 Tattoos and Body Piercings, 75,
Chapter 9 Square Peg in a Round Hole, 88,
Chapter 10 The Powder Room, 99,
Chapter 11 Girls Just Want to Have Fun, 116,
Chapter 12 The Internet and Predators, 122,
Chapter 13 Setting Boundaries, 129,
Chapter 14 Driving Licenses, 140,
Chapter 15 Higher Powers, 147,
Chapter 16 The Higher Power of Politics, 156,
Chapter 17 Tackling Mental Health, 163,
Chapter 18 Education and Job Interviews, 171,
Final Note, 181,