The Right to Bare Arms

The Right to Bare Arms

by Larry the Cable GuyLarry the Cable Guy


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"This is going to be the dumbest show you ever seen in your whole life up here, I guaran-daggone-tee you that right there," is how Larry the Cable Guy, the beefy dimwit of Blue Collar Comedy, warns the suspecting audience attending the southern-fried laugh extravaganza captured on The Right to Bare Arms. Larry, a self-professed C-section baby (meaning "C section of a Waylon Jennings concert"), doesn't pretend to be a pointy-headed intellectual, but some of his topical zingers are better informed than he would let on. On reality shows: "The Apprentice. It's basically a game show, alright, first prize is a job. Who the hell wants to win a job on a game show? What's second place? Jury duty?" And if a Queer Eye guy tries to dress him, Larry announces that the spin-off of that episode will be titled Black Eye for the Queer Guy. He ribs the band Boston for putting out only five albums in 30 years -- "Hell, Jimi Hendrix is dead and he still puts out three albums a year!" -- and muses about being at a Rolling Stones concert but never seeing the band live (and as for 53-year-old Charlie Watts marrying a 19-year-old lass, Larry fumes, "That pissed me off. I went to my old math teacher and said, 'See, I told you 53 would go into 19!' "). Drivers on cell phones? Larry spilled three beers chasing one who was "taking out more cones than Oprah at the Dairy Queen." Hey, as the Cable Guy would point out, that's comedy right there, that's funny. As the man who's made the catchphrase "git-r-done" a redneck calling card nationwide, he follows his own advice to the letter, positioning himself as the smartest dumb comic around.

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