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This is a humourous medical memoir. I was born and raised on a rural property which my older brother was always destined to inherit, so I had to choose a different career path for myself. My parents encouraged me to pursue medicine from an early age, but I never really thought about it. I attended boarding school, and spent more time enjoying myself and getting into trouble than thinking about my future. In my last year of senior school I had 10 minutes to make a decision as to what career I would like to pursue for the rest of my life and I was totally unprepared. I chose medicine because I was reasonably intelligent, but totally unambitious. I miraculously made it into Medical School. I spent my University life drinking and taking drugs, but I managed to pass the course by the barest of margins. I was then forced to face reality and enter my intern and resident years as a practising doctor. I worked in the fields of general medicine, surgery, orthopaedics, paediatrics, neonatology and emergency medicine, with a plethora of different experiences along the way. But I was directionless. I attempted to enter the specialties of Dermatology and Forensic pathology without success. I continued to work in emergency medicine for a period of time, but eventually found a position as a locum medical officer, covering for doctors on holidays or sick leave. This initially was in general practice, including in the local prison. Then I recieved a position in mental health, and remianed in that specialty for the remainder of my medical life. The main focus of my memoir is my more bizarre and funny experiences with the clients that I had to treat in psychiatry, and to educate and attempt to remove the stigma that still unfortunately exists towards people suffering from mental illness. When I was in my early thirties, I made a decision to change careers. I still worked as a doctor part-time, but I realised that you don't really know your true calling when you are 16 or 17 years of age. Some people do, but not me. I returned to University to complete another degree, and started my new life. But the seeds of mental illness had already begun to surface in me. I continue on with my new life, but they won't go away. This is my journey from becoming the reluctant doctor to the reluctant patient.