Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents: How to Help Your Child (of Any Age) with Borderline Personality Disorder without Losing Yourself

by Randi Kreger, Christine Adamec MBA, Daniel S. Lobel PhD, Fran L. Porter MA, BEd (Foreword by)

Overview

"A valuable, practical resource for parents and caregivers of children, from age five through adulthood, who exhibit signs of, or have been diagnosed with, borderline personality disorder (BPD)."—Booklist

Based on the self-help classic, Stop Walking on Eggshells, this essential guide offers powerful skills and strategies for parenting a child of any age with borderline personality disorder (BPD)—without sacrificing their family or themselves.

If you have a child with BPD, you are all-too-aware of the behavioral and emotional issues that are linked to this disorder—including rages, self-harm, sexual acting out, substance abuse, suicidal behaviors, physical and emotional attacks, and more. Traditional parenting strategies that work on other kids just don’t work with a borderline child. But you shouldn’t lose hope. The good news is that there are parenting strategies that do work.

With this comprehensive resource, you will learn all about borderline personality disorder, how it shows up in children, adolescents, and your adult children, how to obtain proper treatment, and how to manage your child’s condition at home. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you communicate and improve your relationship with your child of any age, and, as a result, improve your own life as a parent and an individual. You’ll also find real stories and advice from parents who have also experienced raising a child with BPD.

Most importantly, you’ll learn how to maintain boundaries and validate your child while also meeting your own needs. Whether your child is 5 or 25, this book offers tools to help you and your family thrive.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781684038510
Publisher:	New Harbinger Publications
Publication date:	02/01/2022
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	64,177
Product dimensions:	8.90(w) x 5.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Randi Kreger is author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. Her website, www.stopwalkingoneggshells.com, offers material related to borderline personality disorder (BPD). She also provides a free online family support group, Moving Forward, at www.groups.io/g/movingforward. She gives workshops throughout the US and Japan.


Christine Adamec, MBA, is a self-help author whose books include When Your Adult Child Breaks Your Heart and The Grandfamily Guidebook. She has authored and coauthored forty books, and is a member of the American Society of Journalists and Authors.


Daniel S. Lobel, PhD, practices clinical psychology in Katonah, NY. He is author of two books: When Your Daughter Has BPD and When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder, and numerous blogs on Psychology Today. He has taught at Mount Sinai School of Medicine, State University of New York, Hofstra School of Law, and lectures with the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill (NAMI).


Fran L. Porter, BEd, MA, is author of When the Ship Has No Stabilizers, a memoir about her daughter, who has BPD.

Table of Contents

Foreword ix

Preface xiii

Chapter 1 An Introduction to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 1

Chapter 2 How BPD Affects Your Child 17

Chapter 3 Psychiatric Problems That Commonly Co-Occur with BPD 29

Chapter 4 Types of Treatment and Finding Treatment 43

Chapter 5 Improving Your Mental Health 61

Chapter 6 How BPD Impacts the Whole Family 79

Chapter 7 Life-Changing Communication Techniques 95

Chapter 8 BPD-Savvy Parenting Techniques Part 1 Avoiding Enabling and Handling Fear, Obligation, and Guilt 119

Chapter 9 BPD-Savvy Parenting Techniques Part 2 Limit Setting and Problem Solving 135

Chapter 10 Parenting a Preteen with BPD 151

Chapter 11 Parenting an Adolescent with BPD 165

Chapter 12 Parenting an Adult Child with BPD 179

Chapter 13 Parenting a Child Who Self-Harms or Is Suicidal 195

Chapter 14 Parenting a Child with Extreme Behaviors 209

Epilogue 221

Acknowledgments 223

Appendix A Top Ten Tips for Dads 225

Appendix B Clinician to Clinician: The Underdiagnosis of BPD in Children 233

Appendix C Resources 237

References 245

Interviews

Kreger resides in Wauwatosa, WI; Adamec resides in Sacramento, CA; Lobel resides in Katonah, NY.

Editorial Reviews

“This is a valuable, practical resource for parents and caregivers of children, from age five through adulthood, who exhibit signs of, or have been diagnosed with, borderline personality disorder (BPD). Useful for both parents just learning about BPD and those with years of familiarity, the book goes through strategies of care for children with the disorder as well as tools for caregiver self-care, providing many useful resources along the way. One particularly unique and helpful tool placed throughout the book are charts comparing BPD with other disorders. With chapters dedicated to family dynamics and working with siblings, the book ultimately offers a roadmap for people to understand the complexities of the disorder, not just from a clinical perspective, but through personal accounts from people who have BPD. ‘When we began this book, the parents we interviewed asked us to include stories of hope,’ write the authors. ‘We thought such tales were going to be hard to find, but we had plenty—way more than we can use.’ Highly recommended for all libraries.”
—Booklist

Booklist

“Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents takes on the challenging territory of helping parents who have a child living with BPD, and provides actionable suggestions in a framework that is compassionate toward everyone in the family system. Very few books take on the issue of the onset of BPD patterns in childhood and adolescence, and this awareness is essential to helping families with support instead of stigma.”
—Ramani Durvasula, PhD, clinical psychologist; founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training and Consulting; and retired professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles

Ramani Durvasula

“Children don’t come with instruction manuals—particularly borderline personality disorder (BPD) children. This book is a comprehensive guide to why your child is so troubled, disrespectful, and prone to rages; how you can strategize to improve these and other typical BPD behaviors (and your own health in the process!); and where to find the resources to assist you. For bewildered and beleaguered parents at their wits’ end, it’s the answer to a prayer!”
—Fran L. Porter, BEd, MA, 2017 Calgary Philanthropic Award winner, and author of When the Ship Has No Stabilizers

Fran L. Porter

“Stop Walking on Eggshells for Parents is a much-needed and welcome guide for families who have a child with borderline behaviors. Using research and interviews with real families, the authors provide comprehensive guidance, information, support, parenting suggestions, treatment options, and extensive examples to help parents respond effectively to the difficult challenges of their emotionally dysregulated children. It fills a great need for practical, understanding support.”
—Margalis Fjelstad, PhD, author of Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship, and coauthor of Raising Resilient Children with a Borderlineor Narcissist Parent

Margalis Fjelstad

“This book is full of useful information for parents and caretakers of children with BPD. It is a great resource for those who need help with the behavior and ever-changing emotions of their child. I highly recommend this book to parents of children at any age to help navigate the uncertain journey with BPD, and help themselves and their child.”
—Donna Toone, administrator of the Facebook group, Support for Parents of Children with BPD; and mom of a child with BPD

Donna Toone