Startled by His Furry Shorts (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #7)

Startled by His Furry Shorts (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #7)

by Louise Rennison

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Overview

On the rack of romance. And also in the oven of luuurve.

Woe is Georgia: Dave the Laugh has declared his love for her (at least she thinks he was talking about her), and she has finally given Masimo an ultimatum to be her one and only and he has to think about it. And will she ever be able to stop thinking about the Sex God plucking his guitar strings of loveosity?

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780061975417
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 10/06/2009
Series: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series , #7
Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 304
Sales rank: 557,832
File size: 1 MB
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author

Louise Rennison was a British comedian and the internationally bestselling and award-winning author of the angst-filled Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series as well as the Misadventures of Tallulah Casey series. Her first novel, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging, received a Michael L. Printz Honor Award in 2001, was adapted into a feature film, and has become a worldwide bestseller now translated into 34 languages. She was also awarded the Roald Dahl Funny Prize for the first book in her Tallulah Casey series, Withering Tights.

Read an Excerpt

Startled by His Furry Shorts

Chapter One

living in fiascoland

saturday june 18th
9:00 p.m.

I can't believe I am once more on the rack of romance.

And also in the oven of luuurve.

And possibly on my way to the bakery of pain.

And maybe even going to stop along the way to get a little cake at the cakeshop of agony.

Shut up, brain, shut up.

9:01 p.m.
Looking out my window at the stars.

It says in my Meditation for the Very Backward book that it is soothing looking at the universe and stars and everything.

Ommmm.

9:03 p.m.
The meditation book is wrong. God, stars are annoying. Winking and blinking like twinkly idiots. Why are they are so cheerful?

9:03 p.m. and a half
I'll tell you why they are so cheerful, because they are not me. They know nothing of the call of the Horn and snogging. Has a Luuurve God ever said to one of them, "I will let you know in a week's time if I want to go out with you or not"? No.

Anyway, what are stars for actually? You can't even read by them. They just hang about. Like dim torches.

9:04 p.m.
Hanging about is not exactly a job, is it?

9:05 p.m.
I am not as such feeling any calmer.

9:10 p.m.
Being in the bakery of pain is vair vair boring. Ten past nine on a Saturday night and I am in my bedroom. Alone. I am in the prime of my -- er -- hornosity and joie de vivre and nothing is going on. Nothing.

It's like the grave in this house I . . .

Oh good. My darling littlesister has kicked open my door and flung Angus at me.

"HEGGGGOOO Gingey!!! We is back. Heggo!!! Watch my panties dance. Sex bum sex bum am a sex bum!!!"

Oh dear Gott in Himmel. Angus was livid at being thrown and once he'd stopped doing that cat sneezing and shaking thing, he dug his claws into my ankle. Owwwwwww. Now I'm on the way to the cakeshop of aggers with a gammy leg. Hurray!

Libby put her frock over her head and waggled her botty around like a pole dancer. Where does she see people doing these things?

They've just come back from the lunatic asylum, i.e., Granddad's sheltered housing, so it will be something she has seen there. I've seen the residents in their so-called communal "lounge." They pretend to play dominoes, but secretly they practice being mad. And probably prance around in their incontinence knickers.

Then Mum came mumming in and scooped up Bibbs. "Time for boboland, young lady."

Libby carried on singing and wiggling around in Mum's arms, and then Mum noticed me. Being in my bedroom.

"What are you up to, Georgia? Why are you in here?"

I said, "Not that anyone notices, but this is actually my room. You know, for me to be in. I was in bed, as it happens."

Mum said as she went out, "Oh you must be sooo tired, all that lip gloss and mascara to carry round all day."

Vair vair amusing. Not.

9:25 p.m.
I've been in my bedroom more or less for forty-eight hours, give or take snack and loo breaks. Oh and a quick visit to the shops for essentials. Mascara. And a new nunga-nunga holder. And a copy of Cosmo. It is forty-eight hours since Masimo left me at my door saying he would let me know if he wanted me to be his girlfriend or not. Why did I admit I wanted him to be like my proper boyfriend? Why why?

9:26 p.m.
And also thrice why? Whyitwhyitwhy? Why couldn't I have just been a callous sophisticate? I could for once have just shut up and been all full of casualosity and savoir whatsit.

9:30 p.m.
If I'd played my cards right I could have had loads of boyfriends. All at the same time. Masimo the Italian Stallion for a weekendy boyfriend, with a touch of Dave the Laugh (oo-er) for a rainy weekday. And also maybe even the former Sex God (whose name I'm not going to mention even beyond the grave) as a sort of Kiwi-a-gogo airmail boyfriend. But, oh no, I had to moan on about wanting to be Masimo's one and only.

9:40 p.m.
I was so happy snogging Masimo under the stars on our date. Stars didn't get on my nerves then. Nothing did.

9:42 p.m.
How come I am living in Fiasco land again? One minute he was snogging me under the twinkly twits, and then the next day he is off to Late and Live with Wet Lindsay, stick insect and drip. I am haunted by Old Droopy Drawers. First she enticed you know who, whose name I will never mention even beyond the grave, but as a clue his name starts with R and ends in obbie.

Now she has slimed her way around Masimo. I hate her, I hate her.

But that is life in a nutshell, isn't it? Well, mine, anyway, all fabby and marvy and then all pooey and merde.

9:45 p.m.
What was it Charlie Dickens said in his famous book Oliver Twit? Ah yes, "forsooth and lack a day all ye worlde is-eth a stage and verily we-eth are players in-ith it. Gadzooks." Or was that Billy Shakespeare? Who knows? Who cares? What does it mean, anyway? And why do none of those beardy Elizabethan types know how to speak proper English?

What does anything mean?

midnight
Oh I can't bear this. How many hours is it until Masimo tells me his answer? Perhaps I should phone him and tell him that I didn't mean what I said about him being my one and only one. I could say that he can go out with Wet Lindsay as well as long as he likes me.

ten past midnight
But that would mean I might snog him after she had snogged him and that would mean that I had practically snogged her. No one could live with that.

Startled by His Furry Shorts. Copyright © by Louise Rennison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Startled By His Furry Shorts (Turtleback School & Library Binding Edition) 4.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 93 reviews.
SandiMitch on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Excellent and Hilarious as always!
midnighttwilight101 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The Georgia Nicolson Series by Louise Rennison is one of my favorite series of all time. The first book in the series is called Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging, this book will keep you laughing at every turn. The first time I remember reading on the back ¿Do not read in public, you will laugh out loud¿ or something like that, yet I still read it in school, and ended up making a fool of myself.
Alina100 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book is hilarious, no doubt. Students who love to play with words and make new, funny sounding ones will especially appreciate it. I believe the language the main character, Georgia, uses is a much a source of entertainment as the subject matter in her diary type of account of her messed up life, her need to distract herself from her various love problems along with her quite unsual family. Fortunately for Gerogia, the end note is quite hopeful, and in line with the continuous good spirits maintained throughout the book.
jyasinchuk on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A strong dose of Chicklit--British style. One of the more popular genre series available is The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson. Startled is the seventh book in a series that is nearing twelve in all. Admittedly, I found myself laughing out loud at the self-indulgent heroine who continually gets herself into one predicament after another. Rennison does well to develop all the characters including the various antagonists and supporting roles. Not really my cup of tea, but I do dare anyone to read this without giggling!
6M2008 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
this a diary of a girl called georgia nicalson and she tells u a whole heep of funny things obout herlife from her anoyying friend jess whos boyfriend has gone to kiwi-a-go-goland to the new lead singer of the stiff dylans check out the other books in this series!!!!!:}
EmScape on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The seventh installment in the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series is similar to all the rest. Georgia goes on and on about boys and ...well, mostly just boys. She may be quite literally mad, or possibly just a teenager. Whatevs, she's still completely hilarious and entertaining to read about even though she really doesn't say much on any other topic but boys.
indygo88 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Number 7 in the continuing saga of Georgia Nicolson. I like the fact that you can read each of these books in any way that suits your reading style at the time (i.e. easily all in one sitting or bits & pieces here & there & not have to think too hard to remember what's going on). My favorite ongoing visual is the Ace Gang doing the Viking Disco Inferno Dance, esp. with the horns. The Cosmic Horn reference makes me giggle too.
shamille on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
erlack. It looks like Rennison-sensei has once again answered the call of the horn and took a trip back to loonland. Or something. Anyway. This is the gagillionth (7th or 8th) Georgia Nicolson book and it's still funny. How does she do it?so i'm going to be using words from the book. yup. sorry.In this installation of the fabby and mad world of Georgia, she is once again caught in the oven of love or whatever between the two boys: Dave the Laugh, Masimo the Pizza Eater S.G.. It is in the stars that she belongs with D the L and that he is the best male on the face of the earth and in history but since Georgia is hopelessly stupid she does not realize this and is obsessed with Masimo and his motorcycle and whatever.Her friends are still funny. Except for Ellen, who has no reason to exist, except for saying Um, and er, and I mean for the whole population of the earth. And Georgia clearly would prefer it if she didn't. exist that is.Also her school is putting on the play MacUseless and periodically taking away their crazy viking/bison horns.People in England are mad crazy.Read it because it's funny, and if you read it in public you can work on your Aurelius stoicnosity by trying not to laugh. and completely fail at it.
rumyana2 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book is hilarious, no doubt. Students who love to play with words and make new, funny sounding ones will especially appreciate it. I believe the language the main character, Georgia, uses is a much a source of entertainment as the subject matter in her diary type of account of her messed up life, her need to distract herself from her various love problems along with her quite unsual family. Fortunately for Gerogia, the end note is quite hopeful, and in line with the continuous good spirits maintained throughout the book.
kidsilkhaze on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Georgia's back in full force in a longer-than-usual installment of hillariousity. MacUseless rehersals are in full swing as opening night approaches, first-formers are being tortured by Wet Lindsay and Astonishinly Dim Monica AND Mark the Gob, Libby continues her "sex bum" dance, Masimo has one week to tell Georgia whether or not he'll exclusively see her, Dave the Laugh is having a laugh? snogging Georgia and then leaving the party with Emma!, then there's Robbie, the original Sex God, plus Radio Jas, Rosie and Sven's wedding, the return of the bison horns, Elvis's obsession with fire safety, Slim, Miss Stamp, Herr Kramer, and Wet Lindsay's scary hair extensions...I love this series this one was even funnier than usual-- one of the best so far... as usual per late, Rennison leaves us hanging off a cliff, so I must already start counting down the days until the next one!
Jenson_AKA_DL on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Georgia is once again in the oven of luurve, the bakery of pain, he cakeshop of agony...you get the picture...due to her spontaneous ultimatum to Masimo. As Georgia waits with impatientocity for Masimo's answer she continues through her tortuous lessons at Stalag Fourteen, rehearsals of MacUseless, the forehead staring campaign against Wet Lindsey who is sporting new octopus tentacles in the form of hair extensions, hopping firsters and sneak attacks by Angus and Gordy.This most recent entry in the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson does not fail to be var, var amusant. The conflagration on the final night of MacUseless was particularly laughable. A couple other mentions is that one cannot help but feel bad for Dave the Laugh as it appears he is trying quite hard to just be "mates" with Georgia who just doesn't seem to get what's going on with him and the fact that if I were Georgia I would NEVER forgive Spazzy Jazzy for neglecting her status as Radio Jas and keeping the secret that she did at the end of the story. All in all this book has left me on the rack of curiousity as to what will happen in the upcoming book. Oh, and I can't wait to read about the Viking nuptuals and how furry shorts fit in to it.
Mindy_Lou More than 1 year ago
I don't know what to say I think the series is good but something changed it is like it is just fizzing out.. It is well written and I do laugh at it.. It seems like the books are all about the same issues and maybe it is just a age group thing or something idk but I think I am going to lay the series down for a bit..
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The first book is Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging the second is On the bRIGHT side im the girlfriend of a sex god
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This and all the books in the series are hilarious
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I really want to read this series but can't figure out which is the first book. Could somebody please tell me?
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