From late 1979 through the early 80's, I was a fundamentalist evangelical preacherboy. There was a hidden dimension to that young preacher, evangelist, and fundamentalist: he was a mystic. He was a mystic in spite of himself, he was a mystic and didn't even know it. But it was fear and guilt that motivated most of what I did and didn't do: fear of eternal damnation. I dreaded, hated going to church, but I psyched myself into the false conviction that I loved it. This book is a collection of autobiographical essays of preacherboy and his mystical, paranormal, occult encounters, followed by a collection of a few pertinent theoretical essays, and finally, a little photo collection.