Off with My Head: The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom

by Stassi Schroeder

Overview

Named one of Us Weekly’s Best Celebrity Memoirs of 2022

The New York Times bestselling author of Next Level Basic and fan-favorite alumna of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules returns with the definitive Basic Bitch handbook for surviving your rock-bottom moments.

The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.

Through stories, confessions, illustrations, and plenty of self-reflection and self-deprecation, this new book goes behind the scenes and addresses the experience of getting cancelled, getting that positive pregnancy test, and saying “I do” in the backyard instead of in Italy. Stassi won’t hold back about her transformation from proud basic bitch to... proud basic bitch who has a deeper appreciation for what’s really important in life: love, relationships, mutual respect, and, okay fine, an Aperol spritz and some showtunes when you need them most.

Stassi hopes her story will help others see the light at the end of the tunnel in their own lives and make them laugh along the way. She writes about the importance of having a good cry (at work, in the shower, in your closet), ways to navigate social media responsibly (sometimes that means logging the eff off when crowds are chanting, “OFF WITH HER HEAD”), how to practice self-care when wine is not an option, and how not to become a Bridezilla—plus she’ll offer tips on marrying your f*ckboy, embracing pregnancy sweats (both cashmere sweats and night sweats), and styling baby OOTDs.

So roll up your bedazzled sleeves...or the sleeves of the tattered robe you’ve been wearing nonstop because you’re at rock bottom; grab a cocktail; and let your favorite (more evolved) basic bitch take you on a wild ride inside the bumpiest year of her life.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781982142551
Publisher:	Gallery Books
Publication date:	04/26/2022
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	38,567
Product dimensions:	6.10(w) x 8.80(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Stassi Schroeder is the author of Off with My Head and the New York Times bestseller Next Level Basic. She’s best known as one of the original breakout stars of the Bravo hit series Vanderpump Rules, and her podcast Straight Up with Stassi became an immediate hit, spawning a sold-out nationwide live tour. Stassi welcomed her daughter, Hartford, in January 2021 and lives in Los Angeles, where she hosts her popular family podcast The Good The Bad The Baby on Patreon with her husband, Beau Clark.

Table of Contents

Introduction: Welcome to the Guillotine 1

Chapter 1 The Canceling 9

Chapter 2 Sober AF 35

Chapter 3 Water Works 45

Chapter 4 End of an Era: Au Revoir, Vanderpump 57

Chapter 5 How to Marry Your Fuckboy 85

Chapter 6 Not-So-Social Media 111

Chapter 7 We (Almost) Bought a Murder House 131

Chapter 8 From Bridezilla to (Covid) Bridechilla 151

Chapter 9 (Don't) Always Buy the Shoes 165

Chapter 10 Self-Care Sundays (and Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, and Freaking Saturdays) 179

Chapter 11 Basic Baby 195

Chapter 12 A Basic Bitch Is Born 225

Chapter 13 Mom Genes 237

Chapter 14 Having It All 247

Chapter 15 Lessons for My Daughter 259

Acknowledgments 269