Modern Brides & Modern Grooms: A Guide to Planning Straight, Gay, and Other Nontraditional Twenty-First-Century Weddings

Modern Brides & Modern Grooms: A Guide to Planning Straight, Gay, and Other Nontraditional Twenty-First-Century Weddings


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Finalist for the National Indie Excellence Book Awards, 2015 — LGBT Nonfiction and Marriage

Finalist/First Runner Up for the Rainbow Book Award, 2015 — Best LGBT Debut

How to make any wedding liberating, brave, and sexy.

This post-DOMA book is for any couple—same or opposite sex—seeking a personalized wedding that dignifies the relationship and the individual self. No “new normal” here—this guide emboldens you to harness your unique, brazen, queer truth; to be creative; and to plan your wedding your way.

Every fiancé faces the question: How do I become something new without losing myself? Using his own story—from how he and his husband connected via MTV’s The Real World to the real world of their marriage—author Mark O’Connell reflects on conflicts that arrive during wedding transitions, as well as various other transitions throughout your lives.

As a psychotherapist, O’Connell offers ideas to bridge relational gaps with your partner, family, and friends. As a professional actor, he also offers insight into the ways your wedding is a theatrical production: how this can help you to conceptualize the event, consolidate your efforts, and increase creative collaboration as a couple. This will serve you not only on the day, but also for the rest of your time together.

Whether we’re straight, gay, or other, weddings inspire us to carve out more fun, freedom, recognition, life-space, love-space, and connubial space than we’ve ever had before.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781629145839
Publisher: Skyhorse
Publication date: 11/18/2014
Pages: 288
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Mark O'Connell, LCSW is the author of the Psychology Today column Quite Queerly, and he has made numerous contributions to the Huffington Post,, and Dot-429 as well as Out magazine and His scholarly writing has been published in the Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association and the Journal of Gay and Lesbian Mental Health. He resides in Brooklyn, New York.

Liza Monroy is the author of The Marriage Act: The Risk I Took To Keep My Best Friend In America And What It Taught Us About Love and Mexican High. She has written for the New York Times, O, Marie Claire, and many other publications. She resides in Santa Cruz, California.

Table of Contents

Foreword vii

Introduction 1

Part 1 First Comes Love 7

Part 2 The Vision 47

Part 3 Setting the Stage 87

Part 4 Play with the Players, Party with the Parties 129

Part 5 Project Alter: Making Things Work, Letting Things Go, and the Wisdom to Know Which Is Best 165

Part 6 Showtime 197

Part 7 Dancing in the New World 227

Part 8 Then Comes … 257

Appendix: Example Budget Chart 268

Resources 270

Acknowledgments 271

Index 273

About the Author 278

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