Making Marriage Simple: Ten Relationship-Saving Truths

by Harville Hendrix, Helen LaKelly Hunt

Overview

Change the relationship you have into the one you want.

Welcome to the Relationship Revolution! Making Marriage Simple is the accessible, essential road map to building a strong marriage in the modern world. Bestselling authors Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt distill into ten essential truths what they've learned about how to create a successful and satisfying relationship—both from their decades of “R&D” in the marriage lab of their workshops, and from their own relationship journey.  In each chapter, Harville and Helen introduce a simple truth—such as “a frustration is a wish in disguise,”  “incompatibility is grounds for marriage,” or “conflict is growth trying to happen”—and then walk couples through easy yet effective exercises to help them apply each truth in real life, every day.

Harville and Helen have spent their careers helping couples transform their marriages through research, workshops, and counseling. But marriage—even for marriage experts—is never easy, and a number of years ago they found themselves on the brink of divorce. Harville and Helen put themselves back through the exercises they’d coached so many other couples through, saving their marriage and helping them achieve a true partnership.

This book is for all couples.  It offers the practical tools needed to transform one’s relationship into a rewarding and joyous marriage.  Written with humor, compassion, and honesty, and illustrated throughout with engaging line drawings, Making Marriage Simple is a strategic blueprint for creating a stronger, more satisfying partnership in today's world.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780770437145
Publisher:	Harmony/Rodale
Publication date:	04/01/2014
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	208
Sales rank:	215,547
Product dimensions:	5.10(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

HARVILLE HENDRIX, Ph.D, author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, has more than forty years of experience as a clinical pastoral counselor, therapist, educator, clinical trainer, and public speaker. He has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show 19 times.  HELEN LAKELLY HUNT, Ph.D, was elected to the Women's Hall of Fame for her work in women's philanthropy. Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy and are founders of Imago Relationships International, Inc. They have six children and five grandchildren.

Read an Excerpt

TRUTH #1
(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "Making Marriage Simple"
by .
Copyright © 2014 Harville Hendrix.
Excerpted by permission of Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction: Congratulations, You Are Part of Something Really Big! 1

How to Use This Book 7

Truth #1 Romantic Love Is a Trick 11

Truth #2 Incompatibility Is Grounds for Marriage 24

Truth #3 Conflict Is Growth Trying to Happen 37

Truth #4 Being Present for Each Other Heals the Past 49

Truth #5 It's Not WHAT You Say; It's HOW You Say It 60

Truth #6 Negativity Is Invisible Abuse 72

Truth #7 Negativity Is a Wish in Disguise 87

Truth #8 Your Brain Has a Mind of Its Own 100

Truth #9 Your Marriage Is a Laughing Matter 111

Truth #10 Your Marriage Is the Best Life Insurance Plan 121

Afterword: The Relationship Revolution 135

The Exercise Program 150

Notes 193

About the Authors and Imago Relationship Therapy 196

What People are Saying About This

“[An] easy-to-understand handbook for creating and maintaining a “Partnership Marriage.” Lightened by a cartoon couple’s relationship conversations and whimsical descriptions of personality types (e.g., the Turtle and the Hailstorm), the book advocates a relationship in which each member helps the other recapitulate and recover from the emotional wounds of childhood…Hendrix and Hunt’s focus on gentleness, reflective listening, and removing negativity forms a decidedly common-sense approach to marriage. Base this in a clear and methodical approach, and you’ve got a workable manual for couples committed to doing a better job living a modern married life—for their own sake and their partner’s.”
–Publishers Weekly

“This book ought to be in every bride and groom's gift basket. Not only have Hendrix and Hunt created a delightful and easy-to-read guide to what every marriage needs, but they have done it by also revealing their own personal struggles (with their very happy ending) to the reader. We absolutely loved the cartoons. The book is the ideal combination of useful advice and very specific tips, and a real understanding of the huge benefits a new couple will gain from a lasting, intimate relationship. Here's how to make that happen!” 
—John & Julie Gottman, authors of And Baby Makes Three
 

"I am thrilled that the greatest hits of what Harville and Helen have taught for decades are being distilled into one book. They are true masterful teachers and have offered clear, humorous, revelatory knowledge. Beyond supporting an intimate marriage, the application of these tools yields benefits throughout every relationship in your life." 
—Alanis Morissette

“This is an enormously useful, helpful, and effective book (and workbook) for married couples, but really for relationships in general. With enormous clarity and insight, Harville and Helen walk us through the major traps of relationships, and specific techniques and exercises to overcome them, making your relationships deeper, stronger, more loving, and more rewarding—all around! Highly recommended for any relationship.” 
—Ken Wilber, author of The Integral Vision
 
 

Editorial Reviews

[An] easy-to-understand handbook for creating and maintaining a “Partnership Marriage.” Lightened by a cartoon couple’s relationship conversations and whimsical descriptions of personality types (e.g., the Turtle and the Hailstorm), the book advocates a relationship in which each member helps the other recapitulate and recover from the emotional wounds of childhood…Hendrix and Hunt’s focus on gentleness, reflective listening, and removing negativity forms a decidedly common-sense approach to marriage. Base this in a clear and methodical approach, and you’ve got a workable manual for couples committed to doing a better job living a modern married life—for their own sake and their partner’s.”
–Publishers Weekly


“This book ought to be in every bride and groom's gift basket. Not only have Hendrix and Hunt created a delightful and easy-to-read guide to what every marriage needs, but they have done it by also revealing their own personal struggles (with their very happy ending) to the reader. We absolutely loved the cartoons. The book is the ideal combination of useful advice and very specific tips, and a real understanding of the huge benefits a new couple will gain from a lasting, intimate relationship. Here's how to make that happen!” 
—John & Julie Gottman, authors of And Baby Makes Three
 

"I am thrilled that the greatest hits of what Harville and Helen have taught for decades are being distilled into one book. They are true masterful teachers and have offered clear, humorous, revelatory knowledge. Beyond supporting an intimate marriage, the application of these tools yields benefits throughout every relationship in your life." 
—Alanis Morissette

“This is an enormously useful, helpful, and effective book (and workbook) for married couples, but really for relationships in general. With enormous clarity and insight, Harville and Helen walk us through the major traps of relationships, and specific techniques and exercises to overcome them, making your relationships deeper, stronger, more loving, and more rewarding—all around! Highly recommended for any relationship.” 
—Ken Wilber, author of The Integral Vision
 
 

From the Publisher

Odd couple Hendrix and Hunt, whose groundbreaking Getting the Love You Want is wildly popular with marriage counselors everywhere, bring their Imago Relationship Therapy method and personal experiences to this easy-to-understand handbook for creating and maintaining a “Partnership Marriage.” Lightened by a cartoon couple’s relationship conversations and whimsical descriptions of personality types (e.g., the Turtle and the Hailstorm), the book advocates a relationship in which each member helps the other recapitulate and recover from the emotional wounds of childhood. The overall message—built on an enthusiastic notion of marriage as the core institution of society and following a structure of specific communication exercises—is one that divorce-happy America may not be ready to hear: “the best way to heal a relationship is not to repair the two people, but the Space between them.” Hendrix and Hunt’s focus on gentleness, reflective listening, and removing negativity forms a decidedly common-sense approach to marriage. Base this in a clear and methodical approach, and you’ve got a workable manual for couples committed to doing a better job living a modern married life—for their own sake and their partner’s. Agent: Douglas Abrams, Idea Architects. (Mar. 12)

Publishers Weekly

Best-selling authors and founders of Imago Relationships International Inc., Hendrix (Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples) and Hunt base their latest book on the idea of a "Partnership Marriage" in which partners promote each other's psychological and spiritual growth. Each of the ten chapters is devoted to a relationship truth designed to transform one's marriage. Hendrix, who has more than 40 years of experience as a clinical pastoral counselor, therapist, educator, clinical trainer, and public speaker on marriage and relationship therapy, and his wife, Hunt, a women's activist recognized for her philanthropic contributions in the Women's Hall of Fame, counsel couples using Imago Relationship Therapy, an approach valuing partnership over individualism. Readers will find the "exercise program," which corresponds to each of the truths, a helpful tool for everyday application. Humorous illustrations and straightforward language make this an easy, enjoyable read. VERDICT Recommended for readers looking for a transformative approach to solving marital problems from a couple whose own marriage was saved by a willingness to work at staying together.—Amber Woodard, Cumberland Univ. Lib., Lebanon, TN

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