Island of the Sequined Love Nun

Island of the Sequined Love Nun

by Christopher Moore

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Overview

Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise—a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780060735449
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 05/25/2004
Series: Harper Perennial Series
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 336
Sales rank: 597,114
Product dimensions: 7.92(w) x 5.16(h) x 0.76(d)

About the Author

Christopher Moore is the author of the novels Secondhand Souls, Sacré Bleu, A Dirty Job, and Lamb. He lives in San Francisco, California.

Hometown:

Hawaii and San Francisco, California

Date of Birth:

August 5, 1958

Place of Birth:

Toledo, Ohio

Read an Excerpt

Island of the Sequined Love Nun

Chapter One

Tucker Case awoke to find himself hanging from a breadfruit tree by a coconut fiber rope. He was suspended facedown about six feet above the sand in some sort of harness, his hands and feet tied together in front of him. He lifted his head and strained to look around. He could see a white sand beach fringed with coconut palms, a coconut husk fire, a palm frond hut, a path of white coral gravel that led into a jungle. Completing the panorama was the grinning brown face of an ancient native.

The native reached up with a clawlike hand and pinched Tucker's cheek.

Tucker screamed.

"Yum," the native said.

"Who are you?" Tucker asked. "Where am I? Where's the navigator?"

The native just grinned. His eyes were yellow, his hair a wild tangle of curl and bird feathers, and his teeth were black and had been filed to points. He looked like a potbellied skeleton upholstered in distressed leather. Puckered pink scars decorated his skin; a series of small scars on his chest described the shape of a shark. His only clothing was a loincloth woven from some sort of plant fiber. Tucked in the waist cord was a vicious-looking bush knife. The native patted Tucker's cheek with an ashy callused palm, then turned and walked away, leaving him hanging.

"Wait!" Tucker shouted. "Let me down. I have money. I can pay you.

The native ambled down the path without looking back. Tucker struggled against the harness, but only managed to put himself into a slow spin. As he turned, he caught sight of the navigator, hanging unconscious a few feet away.

"Hey, you alive?"

The navigator didn't stir, but Tuckercould see that he was breathing. "Hey, Kimi, wake up!" Still no reaction.

He strained against the rope around his wrists, but the bonds only seemed to tighten. After a few minutes, he gave up, exhausted. He rested and looked around for something to give this bizarre scene some meaning. Why had the native hung them in a tree?

He caught movement in his peripheral vision and turned to see a large brown crab struggling at the end of a string tied to a nearby branch. There was his answer: They were hung in the tree, like the crab, to keep them fresh until they were ready to be eaten.

Tucker shuddered, imagining the native ' s black teeth closing on his shin. He tried to focus on a way to escape before the native returned, but his mind kept diving into a sea of regrets and second guesses, looking for the exact place where the world had turned on him and put him in the cannibal tree.

Like most of the big missteps he had taken in his life, it had started in a bar.

The Seattle Airport Holiday Inn lounge was all hunter green, brass rails, and oak veneer. Remove the bar and it looked like Macy's men's department. It was one in the morning and the bartender, a stout, middle-aged Hispanic woman, was polishing glasses and waiting for her last three customers to leave so she could go home. At the end of a bar a young woman in a short skirt and too much makeup sat alone. Tucker Case sat next to a businessman several stools down.

"Lemmings," the businessman said.

"Lemmings?" asked Tucker.

They were drunk. The businessman was heavy, in his late fifties, and wore a charcoal gray suit. Broken veins glowed on his nose and cheeks.

"Most people are lemmings," the businessman continued. "That's why they fail. They behave like suicidal rodents."

"But you're a higher level of rodent?" Tucker Case said with a smart-ass grin. He was thirty, just under six foot, with neatly trimmed blond hair and blue eyes. He wore navy slacks, sneakers' and a white shirt with blue-and-gold epaulets. His captain's hat sat on the bar next to a gin and tonic. He was more interested in the girl at the end of the bar than in the businessman's conversation, but he didn't know how to move without being obvious.

"No, but I've kept my lemming behavior limited to my personal relationships. Three wives." The businessman waved a swizzle stick under Tucker's nose. "Success in America doesn't require any special talent or any kind of extra effort. You just have to be consistent and not fuck up. That's how most people fail. They can't stand the pressure of getting what they want, so when they see that they are getting close, they engineer some sort of fuckup to undermine their success."

The lemming litany was making Tucker uncomfortable. He'd been on a roll for the last four years, going from bartending to flying corporate jets. He said, "Maybe some people just don't know what they want. Maybe they only look like lemmings.

"Everyone knows what they want. You know what you want, don't you?"

"Sure, I know," Tucker said. What he wanted right now was to get out of this conversation and get to know the girl at the end of the bar before closing time. She'd been staring at him for five minutes.

"What?" The businessman wanted an answer. He waited.

"I just want to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm happy."

The businessman shook his head. "I'm sorry, son, but I don't buy it. You're going over the cliff with the rest of the lemmings."

"You should be a motivational speaker," Tuck said, his attention drawn by the girl, who was getting up, putting money on the bar, picking up her cigarettes, and putting them into her purse.

She said, "I know what I want."

Island of the Sequined Love Nun. Copyright © by Christopher Moore. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

What People are Saying About This

Tim Cahill

This laugh a minute rollercoaster of a book is almost impossible to describe. If it were a movie, it might be billed something like this: Indiana Jones played by Groucho Marx, screenplay by Edgar Allen Poe, based on a story by Robert Ludlum and Stephen King.

Reading Group Guide

Introduction

Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise -- a world of cargo cults, cannibals mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats.

Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond High Priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells.

Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

Topics for Discussion

  1. The author spent a great deal of time studying on Pacific Islands. Were there any elements of island life portrayed in the book that surprised you or particularly intrigued you? Were there aspects that you would like to know more about? Do you think that comedy translates across cultures? Would the people of the islands find this story funny? Why or why not?

  2. At one point in the book a parallel is drawn between Tucker Case and Hamlet. Other than the examples drawn in the short biographical sketch of Tuck, can you think of any other similarities between these two men of indecision?

  3. Cargo cults and the worship of WWII bomber pilots by natives in the Pacific are real phenomena. Do you think the author was trying to draw a connection between cargo cults and the pyramid make-up sales structure of Mary Jean Cosmetics? Will the intrusion of Westernculture destroy the cultures of the Pacific Islands?

  4. The value of transplant organs is a major motivating factor for the Sky Priestess and her doctor husband. Given that more than three million dollars was bid on eBay recently for a kidney placed up for auction on the Internet, before the company pulled the listing, do you think that organ smuggling will become a major crime wave in the future?

  5. Toward the end of the book Tucker Case has a change of feelings about the way he has treated women throughout his life. What do you think caused this? The influence of Kimi? Sepie? The Sky Priestess? Or perhaps a combination of many events?

About the author

Christopher Moore is the author of Fluke, Lamb, Practical Demonkeeping, Coyote Blue, Bloodsucking Fiends, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, and The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove.

Customer Reviews

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Island of the Sequined Love Nun 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 164 reviews.
Sean_From_OHIO More than 1 year ago
Only Christopher Moore could come up with this wacky masterpiece about tropical island cultures, organ theft, airline pilots, and cargo cults. Somehow Moore, once again, creates a world that is equal parts ridiculous and believable. I don't know if any other writer could even do something like this. Its twisted in such a perfect way. I would it if Moore revisited the Shark people in a future novel. Great stuff!!
starbird56 More than 1 year ago
This was not my favorite Christopher Moore work, but it was fun. An evening reading this book was relaxing and enjoyable. It was not deeply thoughtful, or laugh-out-loud funny, but it was fun.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As with all Christopher Moore books, this one was laugh out loud funny and poignant all at the same time. A must read for those who love to chortle at the absurd.
acschmitty More than 1 year ago
In all fairness, i have only read Lamb, Fool, The Stupidest Angel, and this one but it is nestled in the top for sure. Once again, Moore manages to to give so much heart and soul to his severely depraved and flawed lead character. The story is funny, the characters are well written and the plot advances and evolves quickly.
DeDeFlowers More than 1 year ago
Christopher Moore is a fabulous writer. All of his novels are so much fun! I really liked Island of the Sequined Love Nun. It was original, hilarious and thrilling. It was also an easy read. Basically, it is a perfect book for any time.
slatsdawson More than 1 year ago
In my humble opionion this is the best of all Christopher Moore's books and that is a powerful statement as he has written so many great books. I bought this copy for a friend and it is probably the 10th copy I've purchased since the books original release date way back when. Although this is an insanely funny story there is also an underlying story line sending a profound moral message. It would be very difficult to recommend any book over this one. Buy it, read it and enjoy!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Whenever I finish reading something a bit heavy, I look for something a good deal lighter in my next read. I can always count on Christopher Moore to provide some laugh-out-loud material with outrageous characters and an even more outrageous plot. And as crazy as his characters and situations might be, he always seems to hit the nail on the head with common human emotions and thought processes--so I can identify with, yes, even an elderly island cannibal or a bunch of natives that worship a dead World War II pilot. Moore never disappoints!
APayne More than 1 year ago
this has to be one of the most twisted stories that I have read to date - he keeps you coming back for more - that's for sure!
jules72653 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Crazy, convoluted story that had me laughing in places. My favorite character was Roberto, the talking fruit bat with an array of sunglasses.
taramatchi on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Reading this book was like watching a "B" movie, but in a good kitschy way. It was very entertaining and I looked forward to reading it. The story line and characters were a bit absurd and silly, but I think that is what made it fun.
isabelx on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Tuck stared out at the ocean for a moment, wondering whether it was time to give this gift horse a dental exam. There was just too damn much money showing on this island.When pilot Tucker Case foolishly goes for a drunken flight with a hooker who wants to join the mile high club, and crashes his boss's plane, he loses his pilot's licence and is lucky to escape with his life. Out of the blue, he is offered a lucrative job flying a Lear jet for a mission doctor on an out of the way island in Micronesia, but it isn't long before he starts thinking that there must be a catch.It is a comedy with disturbing undertones which gradually becomes more and more sinister. It; is the first of this author's books that I have read, and I was surprised that it featured such sinister goings on. Back in the 80s, I read several of the M*A*S*H books, and the tone of this extremely funny novel really reminded me of them."Island of the Sequined Love Nun" is a very enjoyable book, and gets bonus points from me for including a map of the island.
golfjr on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Funny, Wacky and well put together with a soupcon of sex.
lilinah on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
What a disappointment. I may have laughed twice. The title is the best part of the book. A waste of trees.
maura_ea on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This was a really great read that was easy to pick up no matter where I left off. I really enjoyed the progression of the characters and the humor in the small details. It was like listening to a friend tell a funny story about a time in their life rather than reading a novel. Excellent change in pace for our book club!!!
Scoshie on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A great story that introduses us to Roberto, a wonderful reoccuring character. Good Job Mr Moore.
sturlington on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
You can¿t really take this novel seriously, what with the cannibals, cargo cults, an organ-harvesting conspiracy, a talking fruit bat and the theft of a 747 from a Hawaii airport. But it is a funny and light adventure fantasy, set in the South Pacific, with a band of memorable characters and a plot that concerns, among many other things, the establishment of a new religion worshiping a WWII fighter pilot named Vincent. A fun read for your next island vacation.
csleh on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Very funny and well written story about a guy who has a good heart, but does not always use his head. There's action, adventure, one cannibal, some WW2 history, a bit of mystery, and a sequined love nun who is the master of all she surveys (when not drinking or reading trashy magazines). Great summer read.
cathyskye on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Protagonist: pilot and screw-up, Tucker CaseSetting: present-day, a small island in MicronesiaTucker Case has a cushy job piloting cosmetics magnate Mary Jean Dobbins around, but he's not content until he's screwed that up and has nowhere to go but down. Down happens to be a small island in Micronesia that's home to 300 or so natives who belong to a "cargo cult"--they worship the memory of a WWII bomber pilot who once visited their island in his plane, the Sky Priestess, and brought them the wonders of American consumables. Unfortunately Case learns that his new bosses aren't quite what they say they are, and he's got to find his way off the island pronto.This is the third book by Moore that I've read, and although I do find several funny passages in this one (my favorite character was Roberto the fruit bat), I'm beginning to believe that Moore just isn't for me. He's great with wisecracks, but his dependence on sidekick stereotypes and Swiss cheese plots just don't do much for me. Oh well, at least I gave him three tries before I gave up!
madamejeanie on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Tucker Case is a pilot working for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Company, flying the little pink corporate jet and ferrying Miss Mary Jean from one sales rally to another. Tuck doesn't have nearly the "way with the ladies" as he'd like to have, so when he gets approached by the pretty lady in the airport bar who wants to join the Mile High Club RIGHT NOW, he doesn't refuse, even though he's tossed back a few gin and tonics already. After the resulting crash (which they both survived -- barely), Mary Jean decides that firing him isn't quite enough, so she sets her goons on him. Tuck has lost his pilot's license and is under Mary Jean's thumb, so he takes the only job offer left to him. He'll be working for a Methodist Missionary doctor on the Micronesian island of Alaulu, flying a brand new Lear Jet for "supply runs" and making $10 grand a month. The doctor's wife is a crazy blonde former nurse who controls the native population of the island by appearing as the Sky Priestess, who they all worship. Something is fishy about the whole operation but Tucker is just grateful for the job. At first. When it slowly dawns on him how a Methodist missionary can afford a Lear jet, Tuck calls upon a friendly ghost, a couple of natives and a talking fruit bat to save the day.This book was hilarious, like all the Christopher Moore books have been. This thing should be made into a movie because it was full of visuals that need to be up on the big screen. The characters in this book are imaginative, the plot just zips along, and the writing is good. This one gets a high 5.
danofthedead33 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Very funny and very exciting. Rare that you can have such high comedy, and still be serious enough to have, "edge of your seat suspense" all rolled into one. The main caricature (Tucker Case) is so great that Christopher Moore has put him in his other books.
dulcibelle on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Take a down and out pilot who crashed a private jet while initiating a prostitute into the "Mile High Club", a talking fruit bat, a Micronesian cargo cult, an unreformed cannibal, and the black market organ transplant market; mix it thru the warped mind of Christopher Moore, and you have this book. Not the best of Moore, but anything by him is worth reading. I love his edgy comedy and his wordplay. I love the quirky characters he develops. Tucker Case, for instance, has a backstory that reads like a modern day Hamlet (except he's not dead yet). I love that regardless of how weird things get, there's a "happy" ending to the story.Not as good as some of Moore's other books - I liked both Lamb and Fluke better - it still belongs on the reading list for every Christopher Moore fan.
GoldenBeep on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Unlike Moore's other novels, Island of the Sequined Love Nun takes readers to a tropical paradise for a tale of evil doctors and cargo cults. Tucker Case, a pilot for a make up company, has a humorous/tragic accident that could realistically have ended his pilot career. However, he is given a second chance by a mysterious man on an island, which he reluctantly accepts. While this is not Moore's best work, I found myself reading for hours longer than I wanted to before bed each night and taking time out of the day to make room for it. Moore continues to find ways to keep me laughing out loud while simultaneously making a truly amazing story. And who wouldn't want to read a book with a talking giant fruit bat? This book is definately worth picking up.
JustMe869 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Cargo cults, Shark People, talking bats, cannibals, the Sky Priestess and a god named VincentTucker Case¿s was introduced to the island of Alualu while hanging upside down from a breadfruit tree and being eyed by a hungry cannibal. How he arrived there and how he saved the Shark People from the Sky Priestess form the narrative of The Island of the Sequined Love Nun. Christopher Moore, who reminds me a lot of Kurt Vonnegut, delivers another irreverent, maniacal tale. One might, if so inclined, see the Love Nun as a morality play and a modern commentary on religion. I am not so inclined. A great escapist read, but it did introduce me to Cargo Cults.
FicusFan on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Another one of my favorites. It isn't in the Pine Cove series, but introduces a character, the Talking Fruit Bat, who does move to Pine Cove, so reading this gives you background on him.A disgraced pilot ends up flying supply runs for the Methodist Missionary Doctors on an island in the South Pacific. The natives are controlled and fooled into worshiping the wife as the Sky Priestess. There are strange medical things going on, and the missionaries have way too much money. Very funny, as well as thrilling, with pointed commentary about religion and the destruction of native culture in the name of god and civilization.
MissTeacher on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Who would've thought...Christopher Moore is not all hilarity and racuousness. This very funny story is actually a pretty powerful portrait of faith and redemption--not just for one man, but for an entire population. Filled with intriguing characters and plain old cool-ass storytelling, The Island of the Sequined Love Nun kept me entertained and in semi-suspense through the entire book. Some parts of the plot were a bit too predictible, so of course Moore threw in some absurd coconuts from left field just to keep the readers on their toes. All in all, very enjoyable, highly snort-inducing, and even a little bit thought-provoking. Classic Moore.