I'm Ok, You're Ok

I'm Ok, You're Ok

by Thomas Harris

Paperback(Mass Market Paperback - Reprint)

View All Available Formats & Editions


The Classic Bestseller That has Changed the Lives of Millions

"Extraordinary. Harris has helped millions find the freedom to change, liberate their adult effectiveness, and achieve joyful intimacy with others." —Los Angeles Times

Transactional analysis delineates three ego-states (Parent, Adult and Child) as the basis for the content and quality of interpersonal communication. “Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not OK feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a “position” about ourselves and others that determines how we feel about everything we do. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is "I’m Not OK-You’re OK." This negative "life position," shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational adult capabilities, leaving us vulnerable to inappropriate, emotional reactions of our child and uncritically learned behavior programmed into our parent. By exploring the structure of our personalities and understanding old decisions, Harris believes we can find the freedom to change our lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780380007721
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 04/01/1976
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 320
Product dimensions: 4.19(w) x 6.75(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

The late Thomas Harris was a Navy psychiatrist and a professor at the University of Arkansas. He practiced psychiatry in Sacramento, California and directed the Transactional Analysis Association.


Sag Harbor, New York, and Miami Beach, Florida

Date of Birth:

April 11, 1940

Place of Birth:

Jackson, Tennessee


B.A., Baylor University, 1964

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

I'M Ok - You're Ok 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book was so well written anyone could read and understand it. I am a student studying Criminology/Psychology, just enrolled at Empire State College in NY. This book has, no doubt, helped me to understand communication transactions and how it can be successfully used between all people. Something this profound can only change a person in the best possible way forever.
Koos More than 1 year ago
For 18 months I agonized over a mental blockage I had with a colleague then I discovered "I'm OK You're OK". What a difference this book made. It gave me a new perspective on relationships with others and helped me to move from a victim to a victor. I never looked back. I am getting a copy for a colleague of mine that I believe will also benefit.
LKJLJ More than 1 year ago
It's been more than thirty years since I first read this book, but I found myself referring to it when counseling a friend on how to deal with her teenager. I remembered using this theory when going through the teens with my own kids. Now I'm planning to reread this and see what I may have forgotten. What's certain is that not many books stay with us thirty years after we've read the last word. This is one of those memorable ones.
Guest More than 1 year ago
writermandy1984 More than 1 year ago
In this psychoanalytical theory resource, I’m OK-You’re Ok, Thomas A. Harris, M.D. explains his approach to theory to psychology. The theory is rooted in psychoanalysis and deals with grouping people into four categories of how they approach the world dealing with “okayness”. This isn’t as strong an approach as Freud, but there are a lot of similarities. There is an explanation of games we play which look a lot like defense mechanisms. There is a uniqueness to the approach though and worth the read. While the book claims to be in plain English, it is a little heady and requires a willingness to learn new information as well as patience to go through the diagrams and pick apart the concepts to understand, however it is understandable to someone without a background in psychology and is meant to be a psychoeducational resource. The book’s approach does offer some important applications to how we can look at problems in a variety of contexts as well. I’m not a psychoanalytic fan, although I profess to love Jung, and the similarities to Freud were somewhat of a turn off for me. The theory is different from Freud in several aspects, but does seem to divide the Parent, Adult, and Child into forms of a Superego, Ego, and Id. The “games” that the author describes are fascinating and I loved the ways he detailed how these games worked and how to stop them, but they also go hand in hand defense mechanisms. The theory does make sense and is useful for helping others to handle problems in their lives from a psychoanalytic approach, yet I believe there are more useful approaches out there. The author has found ways to apply his theory to help everyone from students to communities and there does seem to be positive research results which indicate there is a need to understand and utilize this theory in practices. I think the author could have used more succinct language to explain the concepts if his goal was to put the theory into a more easily understood common English description of the theory. It was hard for me to understand the fine points in the several areas like the way two different categories of people attempt to talk to one another to solve a problem and how there are blockings or contamination of the different aspects of Parent, Adult, and Child. I was a little shocked at some of the discussions between the therapists and patients in the book too; they were just way to Freudian for me. Some of the great take-aways from the book for me though were the comments made about teaching children about sex, the idea of educating children to deal with emotions and make inspiring choices and how to deal with types of people that play mind games with you that are almost every day occurrences. This book offers a different perspective of psychoanalytical theory that is proving to be helpful in how people communicate with each other and how we relate to world around us. It is helpful in allowing people to learn about themselves and how they handle life. There is research that shows this theory is having a positive impact on behavior and it is therefore a good idea to familiarize yourself with the concepts provided in it. While there are many different theories in psychology to explain how we relate to the world that are grouped in to many different categories, this does appear to be a more helpful one for the psychoanalysis theories that is less abstract and less about sex than Freud.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
They literally hsve ALL types of books all i typed in the search bar was "ok?" And different types of books poped up
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
NAME Sasha AGE 17 GENDER girl RANK straight...she likes only boys DESC a tall long legged girl with long black wavyish hair and peircing green eyes. Wears black leaher mini skirts black nets and different colored strapless shirts. and a belly botton ring PERS coy but loves to have fun but can be shy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name: Bubblies (Shh! Don't tell anyone that it's Cici.) Age: 16 Gender: Female Se.xuality: Bise.xual Description: Short and slender with long legs. Red hair in a scene style. Silverish-blue eyes. Wears pigtails a lot. Likes to wear combat boots, skater shoes, comfortable clothes, bright colors, and dresses. Likes: Bubbles. Running. Music. Cinnamon. Bubbles. Kisses. Writing. Shoes. Love. Bubbles. Dislikes: Fakes. Children. Liars. Fakes. Fakes. Fakes. Fakes! Crush: On a girl and a guy. (The girl isn't Quinn-aliscous!?--I OWN!)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name: Lorana Marie Flunnder /// Age: 17 /// Gender: Female /// Description: Tall and skinny and kind of tan skin smooth and creamy long blond hair and pretty brown eyes with long thivk eyelashes a little bit of an upturn nose and a pretty smile with dimples /// ckothes: Ripped up skinny jeans with a tee that says areopostale and I wear converses /// Personality: shy kind of funny sometimes loud ad random /// other: im bi and I love to play my gutair and i love music and im in a band. /// Crush bf/gf: none /// ask me if you want to know more.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I did bye ni.gga
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Update later
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Sammy sat at the breakfast table and stared at her cereal the figures face appeared sge jumped. "Whats wrong honey?" Her mom asked sammy shook her head. "N-nothing" she sighed and couldnt get the inage out of her mind it was so familiar...but how? It was saturday morning spring break was starting monday and she needed to relax. 2 days later Sammy sighed she had the dream again last night and she had a weird feeling she was being watched. And her mom wasgetting jumpy too. Something was going on and sammy intended to find out
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What in the world did you do to cat. She came into camp crying and bleeding saying you cit her