Holy Cow

Holy Cow

by David Duchovny


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A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist: a four-legged heroine you won't soon forget

Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.

There's only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry—excuse me, Shalom—a cranky, Torah-reading pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can't fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.

Elsie is our wisecracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom—who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)—dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. In Holy Cow, David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780594786870
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Publication date: 02/03/2015
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 567,184
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

David Duchovny is a beloved television, stage, and screen actor; as well as a screenwriter and director. He lives in New York and Los Angeles.

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Holy Cow 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 14 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What a funny book! Very well written and insightful. I wasn't very familiar with Duchovny's work till recently but this book is simply fantastic!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very funny
sandrabrazier More than 1 year ago
Meet Elsie Bovary, the cow. She and her friend, Mallory, learn how to open the gate of their enclosure. Immediately, Mallory heads directly to the bulls who have been flirting with her. Elsie is distracted by a farmhouse. She discovers that the family are all gathered around a glowing box “god” from which she discovers what happens to cows who live on farms. At first she suffers a deep depression, then, she learns about a land that worships cows. Surely she would be safe there. She, and some other animal friends who wish to escape being food for humans, start making a plan that will have you rolling with laughter. This book is Elsie’s narrative. She adds notes to her publisher throughout, which add to the hilarity. This book is purely for fun. But it does also present some good points. Duchovny, through his humorous story, points out the importance for respect and tolerance for all living things. This is a fun book that will make you laugh out loud. The audio book, read by the author, himself, is very well done!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This novel served as a full length animated feature film for my mind. As a lifetime reader, this was enjoyable and moderately quick read. Every moment spent with these adorable witty characters was filled with fun, kindness and smiles.
Carol Nelson More than 1 year ago
This was a strange read....but very funny!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Is tis the chatroom for stuff
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Somehow a cute, almost funny story was expanded into a truly bad novella. Proves any shmendrick can write a book but it takes a well know persona to have it published and reviewed in the NYT.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A great book that shows that animals do in fact desire to live full happy lives devoid of pain and suffering. Please do consider living a life based on comassion and empathy for your fellow earthlings, regardless of how you were programed to treat them.
Merns More than 1 year ago
I'm a David Duchovey fan. I'm an advocate of animal rights. This was one of the most difficult stories I've read in the last 5 yrs. It barely addresses the issue. Mostly just lame jokes and odd references. I was really, sadly disappointed.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love the writing! Funny and touching.
elaineallen More than 1 year ago
Meh. I had high hopes for this, since in every interview they mentioned his Literature degree from Princeton. It was...cute. It was a LOT of cute with a few serious undertones here and there. I think it was a great idea, and if he had maybe expanded on some parts it could have been a pretty good book. This took me only a couple of hours to read, so they could make it into a movie if they embellish a little. It would be a good Wallace & Grommet kind of thing. I liked the characters and how they all had very distinct ways of speaking, but if an unknown first time author used that many cliches, they would be laughed out of the slush pile. The overall message about the grass not being greener is something we can all relate to, though I don't know if that was intended. There were a few too many current pop culture references and slang, that make it seem like it was written last month, and that could affect the books longevity. All in all, not bad. Not great. Didn't take took much time out of my life, so I could enjoy it like I would an Adam Sandler movie. It is fun and entertaining if you don't expect too much.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Daniel-Lane More than 1 year ago
Duchovny, are you serious with this trash?