Go F*ck Yourself, Cian!

Go F*ck Yourself, Cian!

by Cian Twomey


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Fine, nothing, and okay are three words when used by your partner, that are guaranteed to make a man's testicles shrink in fear - and so they should according to Cian Twomey, Facebook's favourite comedian, whose imaginary other half has threatened to push him into a well and when all else fails hopes he chokes on his own slice of pizza. What did Cian do to deserve such atrocities? A lot - according to erratic Emily, the difficult other half to Cian's own personality. Go F*ck Yourself Cian is the relationship guide for you, no matter your status; single, friends with benefits, loved up, or ashamedly whipped, this book holds the answers. Learn what to do with Cian's practical advice, from that awkward first date to that even more awkward first fart. Learn what not to do with Emily's not so helpful interjections and high maintenance demands, and get to know the real Cian and Emily and their heart-warming romance. Cian Twomey: "There's days where I think my girlfriend is the most beautiful thing on the planet, there's also days when I want to leave her in a forest..."

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781911274872
Publisher: Blink Publishing
Publication date: 01/01/2018
Pages: 208
Product dimensions: 5.90(w) x 8.30(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Internet sensation Cian Twomey rose to fame in 2011, making comedy videos about everyday situations he endures with his crazy 'girlfiend' Emily. Cian exaggerates the scenarios he experiences with his real girlfriend Emily Rochford. With over 5.3 million likes on Facebook and some of his most popular videos reaching an incredible 26 million views, Cian Twomey is everyone's favorite comedic vlogger.

Table of Contents

Introduction Cian Twomey 9

Preface Emily 10

Another Preface By The Real Emily 11

Foreword Cian's Mam 13

Prologue: Cian's Weird Job Living With Cian 14

Part 1 How It Started 17

When You Mention Previous Girlfriends 18

When Your Girlfriend Wants To Celebrate A Day You Met Anniversary 24

When You Admit To Your Girlfriend That You Fancy Her Best Mate 30

When You Have To Decide Where To Take Her On Your First/Second/Third/Fourth Date 36

When Your Girlfriend Asks You What You Originally Liked About Her 42

When You First Started Flirting With Her And Then It Became Really Weird 48

The First Dates 52

When You Talk About Becoming Girlfriend And Boyfriend 57

When You Go Out On Your Second Or Third Date 58

Part 2 Making The Commitment 67

Our First Few Months Together 68

When You Start To Set Bored Of Each Other 76

Where Were We Living? 80

When You Start To Really Get To Know Each Other 84

When You Begin To Dabble In PDA Politics 90

When You'd Like To Say 'I Love You' 94

When You Just Have To Go 100

When It's Your First Anniversary 106

Part 3 Moving In 115

When You Need To Meet The In-Laws 116

When You Need To Move 122

When You Decide To Decorate The House 126

When You Have Your First Night Together In The House 130

When You Have To Visit Parents 134

When You Have To Tackle Bedroom Politics 138

When You Have To Do The Jobs Around The House 142

When You Need Some Privacy In The House 148

Part 4 The Future 155

When You Decide To Buy A House 156

When You Start Talking About Children 162

When You Start Thinking About Where To Live 168

When You Start Looking For A Pet 174

When You Start Talking About Marriage 180

When You Think About Proposing 186

When You Talk About Your Honeymoon 192

When You Think About Getting Old 196

Acknowledgements 202

Afterword By Cian's Sister, Rebecca 204

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