Paperback

$31.38 View All Available Formats & Editions
Choose Expedited Shipping at checkout for guaranteed delivery by Friday, October 25

Overview

Biting and bawdy, smart and smutty, lofty and low, Gargantua and Pantagruel is fantasy on the grandest of scales, told with an unquenchable thirst for all of human experience. Rabelais's vigorous examination of the life of his times-from bizarre battles to great drinking bouts, from satire on religion and education to matter-of-fact descriptions of bodily functions and desires-is one of the great comic masterpieces of literature.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781731707956
Publisher: Simon & Brown
Publication date: 11/22/2018
Pages: 788
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.74(d)

About the Author

Bill Homewood is a television, voice actor, and an Earphones Award–winning audiobook narrator. He has regularly appeared on such shows as Coronation Street, The Adventure Game, and The Talisman.

Read an Excerpt

Gargantua and Pantagruel


By François Rabelais

Dover Publications, Inc.

Copyright © 2016 François Rabelais
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-486-80833-8


CHAPTER 1

THE FIRST BOOK


CHAPTER I

Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of Gargantua.

I must referre you to the Great Chronicle of Pantagruel for the knowledge of that Genealogy, and Antiquity of race by which Gargantua is come unto us; in it you may understand more at large how the Giants were born in this world, and how from them by a direct line issued Gargantua the father of Pantagruel'. and do not take it ill, if for this time I passe by it, although the subject be such, that the oftener it were remembered, the more it would please your worshipful Seniorias\ according to which you have the authority of Plato in Philebo and Gorgias; and Flaccus, who saies that there are some kindes of purposes (such as these are without doubt) which the frequentlier they be repeated, still prove the more delectable.

Would to God every one had as certaine knowledge of his Genealogy since the time of the Arke of Noah untill this age. I think many are at this day Emperours, Kings, Dukes, Princes, and Popes on the earth, whose extraction is from some porters, and pardon-pedlars, as on the contrary, many are now poor wandring beggars, wretched and miserable, who are descended of the blood and lineage of great Kings and Emperours, occasioned (as I conceive it) by the transport and revolution of Kingdomes and Empires, from the Assyrians to the Medes, from the Medes to the Persians, from the Persians to the Macedonians, from the Macedonians to the Romans, from the Romans to the Greeks, from the Greeks to the French, & c.

And to give you some hint concerning my self, who speaks unto you, I cannot think but I am come of the race of some rich King or Prince in former times, for never yet saw you any man that had a greater desire to be a King, and to be rich, then I have, and that onely that I may make good chear, do nothing, nor care for any thing, and plentifully enrich my friends, and all honest and learned men: but herein do I comfort myself, that in the other world I shall be so, yea and greater too then at this present I dare wish: as for you, with the same or a better conceit consolate your selves in your distresses, and drink fresh if you can come by it.

To returne to our wethers, I say, that by the sovereign gift of heaven, the Antiquity and Genealogy of Gargantua hath been reserved for our use more full and perfect then any other except that of the Messias, whereof I mean not to speak; for it belongs not unto my purpose, and the Devils (that is to say) the false accusers, and dissembled gospellers will therein oppose me. This Genealogy was found by John Andrew in a meadow, which he had near the Pole-arch, under the Olive-tree, as you go to Marsay: where, as he was making cast up some ditches, the diggers with their mattocks struck against a great brazen tomb, and unmeasurably long, for they could never finde the end thereof, by reason that it entered too farre within the Sluces of Vienne; opening this Tomb in a certain place thereof, sealed on the top with the mark of a goblet, about which was written in Hetrurian letters HIC BIBITUR; They found nine Flaggons set in such order as they use to ranke their kyles in Gasgonie, of which that which was placed in the middle, had under it a big, fat, great, gray, pretty, small, mouldy, little pamphlet, smelling stronger, but no better than roses. In that book the said Genealogy was found written all at length, in a Chancery hand, not in paper, not in parchment, nor in wax, but in the bark of an elme-tree, yet so worne with the long tract of time, that hardly could three letters together be there perfectly discerned.

I (though unworthy) was sent for thither, and with much help of those Spectacles, whereby the art of reading dim writings, and letters that do not clearly appear to the sight, is practised, as Aristotle teacheth it, did translate the book as you may see in your pantagruelising, that is to say, in drinking stiffly to your own hearts desire; and reading the dreadful and horrifick acts of Pantagruel: at the end of the book there was a little Treatise entituled the Antidoted Fanfreluches, or a Galimatia of extravagant conceits. The rats and mothes or (that I may not lie) other wicked beasts, had nibled off the beginning, the rest I have hereto subjoyned, for the reverence I beare to antiquity.


CHAPTER II

The Antidoted Fanfreluches: Or, A Galimatia of extravagant conceits found in an ancient Monument.

No sooner did the Cymbrians overcommer Pass through the air to shun the dew of summer But at his coming streight great tubs were fill'd With pure fresh Butter down in showers distill'd, Wherewith when water'd was his Grandam heigh. Aloud he cryed, Fish it, Sir, I pray 'ye; Because his beard is almost all beray'd, Or that he would hold to'm a scale he pray'd.

To lick his slipper, some told was much better, Then to gaine pardons and the merit greater. In th' interim a crafty chuff approaches, From the depth issued, where they fish for Roches; Who said, Good sirs, some of them let us save, The Eele is here, and in this hollow cave You'll finde, if that our looks on it demurre, A great wast in the bottome of his furre.

To read this chapter when he did begin, Nothing but a calves homes were found therein; I feel (quoth he) the Miter which doth hold My head so chill, it makes my braines take cold. Being with the perfume of a turnup warm'd, To stay by chimney hearths himself he arm'd, Provided that a new thill horse they made Of every person of a hair-braind head.

They talked of the bunghole of Saint Knowles, Of Gilbatharand thousand other holes; If they might be reduc'd t' a scarry stuffe, Such as might not be subject to the cough: Since ev'ry man unseemly did it finde, To see them gaping thus at ev'ry winde: For, if perhaps they handsomely were clos'd, For pledges they to men might be expos'd.

In this arrest by Hercules the Raven Was flayd at her returne from Lybia haven. Why am not I said Minos there invited, Unlesse it be my self, not one's omitted: And then it is their minde, I do no more Of Frogs and Oysters send them any store; In case they spare my life and prove but civil, I give their sale of distaffs to the Devil.

To quell him comes Q. B. who limping frets At the safe passe of trixie crackarets, The boulter, the grand Cyclops cousin, those Did massacre whil'st each one wip'd his nose: Few ingles in this fallow ground are bred, But on a tanners mill are winnowed: Run thither all of you, th' alarmes sound clear, You shall have more then you had the last year.

Short while thereafter was the bird of Jove Resolv'd to speak, though dismal it should prove; Yet was afraid, when he saw them in ire, They should o'rthrow quite flat down dead th' empire He rather chus'd the fire from heaven to steale, To boats where were red Herrings put to sale; Then to be calm 'gainst those who strive to brave us And to the Massorets fond words enslave us.

All this at last concluded galantly, In spight of Ate and Hern-like thigh, Who sitting saw Penthesilea tane, In her old age, for a cresse-selling quean; Each one cry'd out, Thou filthy Collier toad, Doth it become thee to be found abroad? Thou has the Roman Standard filtch'd away, Which they in rags of parchment did display.

Juno was borne who under the Rainbow, Was a bird-catching with her Duck below: When her with such a grievous trick they plyed, That she had almost been bethwacked by it: The bargain was that of that throatfull she Should of Proserpina have two egges free; And if that she thereafter should be found, She to a Haw-thorn hill should be fast bound.

Seven moneths thereafter lacking twenty two, He, that of old did Carthage town undo: Did bravely midd'st them all himself advance, Requiring of them his inheritance; Although they justly made up the division, According to the shoe-welt-lawes decision; By distributing store of brews and beef, To those poor fellows, that did pen the Brief.

But th' year will come signe of a Turkish Bowe, Five spindles yarnd, and three pot-bottomes too, Wherein of a discourteous King the dock Shall pepper'd be under an Hermits frock, Ah that for one she hypocrite you must Permit so many acres to be lost: Cease, cease, this vizard may become another, Withdraw your selves unto the Serpents brother.

'Tis in times past, that he who is shall reigne With his good friends in peace now and againe; No rash nor heady Prince shall then rule crave, Each good will its arbitrement shall have: And the joy promised of old as doome To the heavens guests, shall in its beacon come: Then shall the breeding mares, that benumm'd were, Like royall palfreys ride triumphant there.

And this continue shall from time to time, Till Mars be fettred for an unknown crime. Then shall one come who others will surpasse, Delightful, pleasing, matchlesse, full of grace. Chear up your hearts, approach to this repast, All trusty friends of mine, for hee's deceast, Who would not for a world return againe, So highly shall time past be cri'd up then.

He who was made of waxe shall lodge each member Close by the hinges of a block of timber: We then no more shall master master whoot, The swagger, who th' alarum bell holds out; Could one seaze on the dagger which he bears, Heads would be free from tingling in the eares, To baffle the whole storehouse of abuses, And thus farewell Apollo and the Muses.


CHAPTER III

How Gargantua was carried eleven moneths in his mothers belly.

Grangousier was a good fellow in his time, and notable jester; he loved to drink neat, as much as any man that then was in the world, and would willingly eate salt meat: to this intent he was ordinarily well furnished with gammons of Bacon, both of Westphalia, Mayence and Bayone; with store of dried Neats tongues, plenty of Links, Chitterlings and Puddings in their season; together with salt Beef and mustard, a good deale of hard rows of powdered mullet called Botargos, great provision of Sauciges, not of Bolonia (for he feared the Lombard boccone) but of Bigorre, Longaulnay, Brene, and Rouargue. In the vigor of his age he married Gargamelle, daughter to the King of the Parpaillons, a jolly pug, and well mouthed wench. These two did often times do the two backed beast together, joyfully rubbing & frotting their Bacon 'gainst one another, insofarre, that at last she became great with childe of a faire sonne, and went with him unto the eleventh moneth, for so long, yea longer, may a woman carry her great belly, especially when it is some master-piece of nature, and a person predestinated to the performance, in his due time, of great exploits; as Homer saies, that the childe, which Neptune begot upon the Nymph, was borne a whole year after the conception, that is, in the twelfth moneth; for, as Aulus Gellius saith, libr. 3. this long time was suitable to the majesty of Neptune, that in it the childe might receive his perfect forme: for the like reason Jupiter made the night, wherein he lay with Alcmena, last fourty eight houres, a shorter time not being sufficient for the forging of Hercules, who cleansed the world of the Monstres and Tyrants, wherewith it was supprest. My masters, the ancient pantagruelists have confirmed that which I say, and withall declared it to be not onely possible, but also maintained the lawful birth and legitimation of the infant borne of a woman in the eleventh moneth after the decease of her husband. Hypocrates, lib. de alimento. Plinius lib. 2. cap. 5. Plautus in his Cistellaria. Marcus Varo in his Satyr inscribed, The Testament, alledging to this purpose the authority of Aristotle. Censorinus lib. de die natali. Arist. lib. 2. cap. 3 & 4 de natura animalium. Gellius lib. 3. cap. 16. Servius in his exposition upon this verse of Virgils Eclogues, Matri longa decern, &c. and a thousand other fooles whose number hath been increased by the Lawyers. §. Desuis et legit., 1. In testa to, § ft., & in Autent., De restitut. etea quce pant in xj. mense\ moreover upon these grounds they have foysted in their Robidilardick, or Lapiturolive Law. Galius, §. De lib. etposthu., & l. septimo §. De stat. homi. And some other Lawes, which at this time I dare not name; by means whereof the honest widows may without danger play at the close buttock game with might and maine, and as hard as they can for the space of the first two moneths after the decease of their husbands. I pray you, my good lusty springal lads, if you finde any of these females, that are worth the paines of untying the cod-peece-point, get up, ride upon them, and bring them to me; for if they happen within the third moneth to conceive, the childe shall be heire to the deceased, if before he died he had no other children, and the mother shall passe for an honest woman.

When she is known to have conceived, thrust forward boldly, spare her not, whatever betide you, seeing the paunch is full; as Julia the daughter of the Emperour Octavian never prostituted her self to her belly-bumpers, but when she found her self with childe, after the manner of Ships that receive not their steersman, till they have their ballast and lading; and if any blame them for this their rataconniculation, and reiterated lechery upon their pregnancy and big bellednesse, seeing beasts in the like exigent of their fullnesse, will never suffer the male-masculant to incroach them: their answer will be, that those are beasts, but they are women, very well skilled in the pretty vales, and small fees of the pleasant trade and mysteries of superfetation: as Populius heretofore answered, according to the relation of Macrobius lib. 2. Satumal. If the Devill would not have them to bagge, he must wring hard the spigot, and stop the bung-hole.


CHAPTER IV

How Gargamelle, being great with Gargantua, did eate a huge deal of tripes.

The occasion and manner how Gargamelle was brought to bed, and delivered of her childe, was thus: and, if you do not beleeve it, I wish your bum-gut fall out, and make an escapade. Her bumgut, indeed, or fundament escaped her in an afternoone, on the third day of February, with having eaten at dinner too many Godebillios. Godebillios are the fat tripes of coiros, coir os are beeves fatned at the cratch in Oxe stalls, or in the fresh guimo meadows, guimo meadows are those, that for their fruitfulnesse may be mowed twice a yeare, and of those fat beeves they had killed three hundred sixty seven thousand and fourteen, to be salted at Shrovetide, that in the entring of the Spring they might have plenty of poudred beef, wherewith to season their mouths at the beginning of their meales, and to taste their wine the better.

They had abundance of tripes, as you have heard, and they were so delicious, that every one licked his fingers, but the mischiefe was this, that for all men could do, there was no possibility to keep them long in that relish; for in a very short while they would have stunk, which had been an undecent thing: it was therefore concluded, that they should be all of them gulched up, without losing any thing; to this effect they invited all the Burguers of Sainais, of Suille, of the Roche clermand, of Vaugaudry, without omitting the Boudray, Monpensier, the Guedevede, and other their neighbours, all stiffe drinkers, brave fellows, and good players at the kyles. The good man Grangousier took great pleasure in their company, and commanded there should be no want nor pinching for any thing: neverthelesse he bade his wife eate sparingly, because she was near her time, and that these tripes were no very commendable meat: they would faine (said he) be at the chewing of ordure, that would eat the case wherein it was. Notwithstanding these admonitions, she did eate sixteen quarters, two bushels, three pecks and a pipkin full: O the fair fecality, wherewith she swelled by the ingrediency of such shitten stuffe; after dinner they all went out in a hurle, to the grove of the willows, where on the green grasse, to the sound of the merry Flutes and pleasant Bagpipes they danced so gallantly, that it was a sweet and heavenly sport to see them so frolick.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Gargantua and Pantagruel by François Rabelais. Copyright © 2016 François Rabelais. Excerpted by permission of Dover Publications, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Translator's Introduction 17(37)
The First Book
The Author's Prologue
37(4)
Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of Gargantua
41(1)
The Corrective Conundrums, found in an Ancient Monument
42(4)
How Gargantua was carried eleven months in his Mother's Belly
46(1)
How Gargamelle, when great with Gargantua, ate great quantities of Tripe
47(1)
The Drunkards' Conversation
48(3)
The very strange manner of Gargantua's Birth
51(2)
How Gargantua received his Name, and how he gulped his Liquor
53(1)
How Gargantua was dressed
54(3)
Gargantua's Colours and Livery
57(2)
Concerning the significance of the colours White and Blue
59(3)
Concerning Gargantua's Childhood
62(2)
Concerning Gargantua's Hobby-horses
64(2)
How Grandgousier realized Gargantua's marvellous intelligence, by his invention of an Arse-wipe
66(3)
How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophist
69(2)
How Gargantua was put under other Pedagogues
71(1)
How Gargantua was sent to Paris, of the huge Mare that carried him, and how she destroyed the Ox-flies of La Beauce
72(2)
How Gargantua repaid the Parisians for their welcome, and how he took the great Bells from the church of Notre-Dame
74(2)
How Janotus de Bragmardo was sent to recover the great Bells from Gargantua
76(1)
The Harangue delivered by Master Janotus de Bragmardo to Gargantua for the recovery of the Bells
77(2)
How the Sophist carried off his Cloth, and how he fought a Lawsuit against the other Masters
79(2)
Gargantua's Studies, according to the Directions of his Tutors, the Sophists
81(2)
Gargantua's Games
83(3)
How Gargantua was so disciplined by Ponocrates that he did not waste an Hour of the Day
86(6)
How Gargantua spent his Time in rainy Weather
92(2)
How a great Quarrel arose between the Cake-bakers of Lerne and the people of Grandgousier's country, which led to great Wars
94(2)
How the Inhabitants of Lerne, at the command of their King Picrochole, made an unexpected attack on Grandgousier's Shepherds
96(1)
How a Monk of Seuilly saved the Abbey-close from being sacked by the Enemy
97(4)
How Picrochole stormed La Roche-Clermault, and of the reluctance and aversion with which Grandgousier made war
101(2)
The Tenour of the Letter sent by Grandgousier to Gargantua
103(1)
How Ulrich Gallet was sent to Picrochole
104(1)
Gallet's Speech to Picrochole
104(3)
How Grandgousier, in order to buy Peace, had the Cakes returned
107(2)
How certain of Picrochole's Advisers, by their headstrong Counsel, put him in extreme Peril
109(4)
How Gargantua left the city of Paris to save his Country, and how Gymnaste met the Enemy
113(2)
How Gymnaste neatly killed Captain Tripet and others of Picrochole's men
115(2)
How Gargantua demolished the Castle at the Ford of Vede and how they passed the Ford
117(2)
How Gargantua, in combing his Head, made the Cannon-balls fall out of his Hair
119(1)
How Gargantua ate six Pilgrims in a Salad
120(2)
How the Monk was feasted by Gargantua, and of the fine Discourse he delivered during Supper
122(3)
Why Monks are shunned by the world, and why some have bigger Noses than others
125(2)
How the Monk made Gargantua sleep, and of his Hours and Breviaries
127(2)
How the Monk encouraged his Companions, and how he hanged on a Tree
129(2)
How Picrochole's Scouts were met by Gargantua; and how the Monk killed Captain Drawforth, and was then captured by the Enemy
131(2)
How the Monk got rid of his Guards, and how Picrochole's Scouts were defeated
133(2)
How the Monk brought in the Pilgrims, and how Gargantua welcomed them
135(3)
On Grandgousier's humane treatment of his Prisoner Touch-spigot
138(2)
How Grandgousier sent for his Legions, how Touchspigot killed Hasticalf and how he was afterwards killed at Picrochole's Orders
140(2)
How Gargantua attacked Picrochole in La Roche-Clermault, and defeated the said Picrochole's Army
142(2)
How Picrochole was overtaken by Misfortune in his Flight, and what Gargantua did after the Battle
144(1)
Gargantua's Address to the Vanquished
145(3)
How the victorious Gargantuans were rewarded after the Battle
148(1)
How Gargantua had the Abbey of Theleme built for the Monk
149(2)
How the Thelemites' Abbey was built and endowed
151(2)
The Inscription set above the great Gate of Theleme
153(2)
Concerning the Establishment of the Thelemites' House
155(2)
How the Monks and Nuns of Theleme were dressed
157(2)
The Rules according to which the Thelemites lived
159(1)
A Prophetic Riddle
160(11)
The Second Book
The Author's Prologue
167(4)
Of the Origin and Antiquity of the great Pantagruel
171(3)
Of the Nativity of the most redoubted Pantagruel
174(3)
Of the Mourning Gargantua made for the Death of his Wife Badebec
177(2)
Of Pantagruel's Childhood
179(2)
The youthful Deeds of the noble Pantagruel
181(2)
How Pantagruel met a Limousin who murdered the French Language
183(3)
How Pantagruel came to Paris, and of the fine Books in the Library of Saint Victor's
186(6)
How Pantagruel, when at Paris, received a Letter from his Father Gargantua, together with a copy of the same
192(4)
How Pantagruel found Panurge, whom he loved all his life
196(6)
How Pantagruel made a fair Judgement in a Controversy which was strangely difficult and obscure, and of the Admiration which this very fair Judgement inspired
202(3)
How the Lords Kissmyarse and Suckfizzle pleaded before Pantagruel without Advocates
205(3)
How the Lord of Suckfizzle pleaded before Pantagruel
208(3)
How Pantagruel delivered Judgement on the Differences between these two Gentlemen
211(2)
Panurge's account of the way in which he escaped from the Turks
213(5)
How Panurge demonstrated a very new way of building the Walls of Paris
218(4)
Panurge's Character and Qualities
222(4)
How Panurge gained the Pardons and married the old Women, and of the Lawsuits he had in Paris
226(4)
How a great English Scholar attempted to argue against Pantagruel and was worsted by Panurge
230(4)
How Panurge confounded the Englishman who argued by Signs
234(4)
Thaumaste speaks of the Virtues and Knowledge of Panurge
238(1)
How Panurge fell in love with a great Parisian Lady
239(3)
How Panurge played a Trick on the Parisian Lady which was not at all to her advantage
242(3)
How Pantagruel left paris, on hearing that the Dipsodes were invading the Country of the Amaurots; and the reason why Leagues are so short in France
245(1)
A Letter brought to Pantagruel from a Lady of Paris, and the explanation of a Motto on a gold Ring
246(3)
How Pantagruel's Companions, Panurge, Carpalim, Eusthenes, and Epistemon, most cunningly discomfited six hundred and sixty Knights
249(2)
How Pantagruel and his Companions were tired of eating Salt Meat, and how Carpalim went hunting after Venison
251(3)
How Pantagruel set up a Trophy in memory of their Prowess, and Panurge another in memory of the Leverets; and how Pantagruel with his Farts begot little men, and with his Poops little women; and how Panurge broke a great Staff over two Glasses
254(2)
How Pantagruel won a very strange Victory over the Dipsodes and the Giants
256(4)
How Pantagruel defeated the three hundred Giants armoured with Freestone, and Werewolf, their Captain
260(4)
How Epistemon, who had his Chop headed off, was skilfully healed by Panurge, and some news from the Devils and the Damned
264(6)
How Pantagruel entered the City of the Amaurots; and how Panurge found a Wife for King Anarch, and made him a crier of Green Sauce
270(2)
How Pantagruel covered a whole Army with his Tongue, and what the Author saw in his Mouth
272(3)
How Pantagruel fell ill, and the Method of his Cure
275(2)
The Conclusion of the Present Book, and the Author's Excuse
277(12)
The Third Book
Prologue of the Author
281(8)
How Pantagruel transported a Colony of Utopians into Dipsodia
289(3)
How Panurge was made Warden of Salmagundia in Dipsodia, and ate his Wheat in the Blade
292(3)
Panurge's praise of Debtors and Borrowers
295(4)
The Continuation of Panurge's speech in praise of Lenders and Debtors
299(3)
Pantagruel's detestation of Debtors and Borrowers
302(1)
Why newly married Men were exempted from going to the Wars
303(2)
Panurge has a Flea in his Ear, and gives up wearing his magnificent Codpiece
305(2)
To prove that the Codpiece is the principal piece in a Warrior's Armour
307(3)
How Panurge consulted Pantagruel as to whether he should marry
310(2)
Pantagruel points out to Panurge the difficulty of offering Advice about Marriage, and something is said of the Homeric and Virgilian Lotteries
312(4)
Pantagruel points out that Divination by Dice is unlawful
316(1)
Pantagruel inquires of the Virgilian Lottery how Panurge's marriage will turn out
317(3)
Pantagruel advises Panurge to test the future Happiness or Unhappiness of his Marriage by Dreams
320(4)
Panurge's Dream and its Interpretation
324(4)
Panurge's Excuse, and the Explanation of the Monastic Cabala in the matter of Salt Beef
328(3)
Pantagruel advises Panurge to consult a Sibyl of Panzoust
331(2)
Panurge speaks to the Sibyl of Panzoust
333(2)
Pantagruel and Panurge find different explanations for the Verses of the Sibyl of Panzoust
335(4)
Pantagruel speaks in praise of Dumb men's Counsel
339(3)
Goatnose answers Panurge by Signs
342(3)
Panurge takes Counsel with an old French poet called Raminagrobis
345(2)
Panurge defends the Order of Friars Mendicant
347(2)
Panurge speaks in favour of returning to Raminagrobis
349(4)
Panurge consults Epistemon
353(3)
Panurge consults Herr Trippa
356(4)
Panurge consults Friar John of the Hashes
360(2)
Friar John gives Panurge some cheerful Advice
362(2)
Friar John comforts Panurge about the doubtful matter of his Cuckoldry
364(5)
How Pantagruel summoned a meeting of a Theologian, a Doctor, a Lawyer, and a Philosopher, to consider Panurge's Perplexity
369(1)
Hippothadeus the Theologian gives Panurge advice on the subject of his Marriage
370(3)
How Rondibilis the Physician advised Panurge
373(4)
Rondibilis declared that Cuckoldry is one of the natural Attributes of Marriage
377(2)
Rondibilis's Remedy for Cuckoldry
379(3)
How Women generally long for Forbidden Things
382(2)
How the Philosopher Wordspinner handles the diifficulty of Marriage
384(2)
Continuation of the Replies of Wordspinner, the Ephectic and Pyrrhonian Philosopher
386(4)
Pantagruel persuades Panurge to take counsel of a Fool
390(2)
How Pantagruel and Panurge proclaimed the virtues of Triboulet
392(4)
How Pantagruel was present at the Trial of Judge Bridlegoose who decided Cases by the Fall of the Dice
396(2)
Bridlegoose explains his reasons for examining the Documents of the Cases which he has decided by the Throw of the Dice
398(3)
Bridlegoose's Story of the Man who settled Cases
401(3)
How Lawsuits are born, and how they come to full Growth
404(3)
Pantagruel justifies Bridlegoose's Judgements by Dice
407(2)
Epistemon tells a strange story of the Perplexities of Human Judgement
409(3)
How Panurge consulted Triboulet
412(2)
Pantagruel and Panurge interpret Triboulet's words in contradictory ways
414(1)
Pantagruel and Panurge resolve to visit the Oracle of the Holy Bottle
415(2)
Gargantua points out that it is not lawful for Children to marry without the knowledge and consent of their Fathers and Mothers
417(4)
How Pantagruel prepared to put to sea, and of the Herb called Pantagruelion
421(2)
How to prepare and apply the famous herb Pantagruelion
423(2)
Why the Plant is called Pantagruelion, also something about its marvellous properties
425(4)
How a certain kind of Pantagruelion cannot be consumed by Fire
429(22)
The Fourth Book
Prologue of the Author
439(12)
How Pantagruel put to sea to visit the Oracle of the Holy Bacbuc
451(2)
Pantagruel buys many fine things on the Island of Medamothy
453(2)
How Pantagruel received a Letter from his Father Gargantua, and of a strange way of getting very speedy News from distant Countries
455(2)
Concerning Pantagruel's Letter to his Father Gargantua, and the several valuable Curiosities which he sent him
457(3)
Pantagruel meets a Ship with Travellers returning from Lanternland
460(2)
The Quarrel being over, Panurge bargains with Dingdong for one of his Sheep
462(2)
Continuation of the Bargain between Panurge and Dingdong
464(2)
Panurge drowns the Dealer and his Sheep in the Sea
466(2)
Pantagruel reaches the Island of Ennasin, and of the strange Relationships there
468(3)
Pantagruel goes ashore on the Island of Cheli, whose reigning Monarch is St Panigon
471(2)
Why Monks love to be in Kitchens
473(2)
How Pantagruel passed through the land of Clerkship, and of the strange customs among the Bum-bailiffs
475(3)
The Lord of Basche praises his Servants after the manner of Master Francois Villon
478(3)
More Bum-bailiff-bashing at my Lord of Basche's
481(2)
Some ancient Wedding Customs are revived by the Bum-bailiffs
483(2)
Friar John's Investigations into the character of Bum-bailiffs
485(2)
Pantagruel passes the Isles of Vacuum and Void, and of the strange Death of Slitnose the Windmill-swallower
487(3)
How Pantagruel survived a great Storm at Sea
490(2)
The Behaviour of Panurge and Friar John during the Storm
492(2)
The Captains abandon their Ships at the height of the Storm
494(3)
The Storm continues, also some brief remarks on the Making of Wills at Sea
497(1)
The Storm ends
498(3)
How Panurge was the best companion, once the Storm was over
501(2)
Friar John proves that Panurge was needlessly frightened during the Storm
503(1)
After the Storm, Pantagruel visits the Isles of the Macreons
504(2)
The good Macrobe tells Pantagruel what happens on the Deaths of Heroes
506(2)
Pantagruel discourses on the Deaths of Heroic Souls, and tells of the Prodigies that occurred on the decrease of the late Lord of Langey
508(2)
Pantagruel's pitiable story about the Death of Heroes
510(2)
Pantagruel sails past Sneaks' Island, where King Lent used to reign
512(1)
Xenomanes's Anatomy and Description of Lent
513(3)
Lent's external Anatomy
516(2)
More about Lent's Anatomy
518(3)
Pantagruel sights a monstrous spouting Whale near Savage Island
521(1)
The Monstrous Spouter is slain by Pantagruel
522(2)
Pantagruel goes ashore on Savage Island, the ancient abode of the Chitterlings
524(2)
How the wild Chitterlings laid an Ambush for Pantagruel
526(2)
Pantagruel sends for Colonel Maul-chitterling and Colonel Chop-sausage; also a notable digression concerning the proper Names of Persons and Places
528(3)
Why men have no reason to despise Chitterlings
531(1)
Friar John joins the Cooks in an attack on the Chitterlings
532(1)
How Friar John fitted up the Sow, and of the brave Cooks who manned it
533(4)
Pantagruel snaps the Chitterlings over his Knees
537(2)
Pantagruel's Negotiations with Niphleseth, Queen of the Chitterlings
539(1)
Pantagruel lands on the Island of Ruach
540(2)
How a little Rain lays a high Wind
542(2)
Pantagruel lands on Popefigs' Island
544(2)
How the little Devil was fooled by a Popefigland Farmer
546(2)
How the Devil was fooled by an old Woman of Popefigland
548(2)
Pantagruel goes ashore on the Isle of Papimania
550(2)
How Greatclod, Bishop of Papimania, showed us the Heavensent Decretals
552(2)
How Greatclod showed us the Archetype of a Pope
554(2)
Some small talk during dinner in Praise of the Decretals
556(2)
More about the Miracles wrought by the Decretals
558(4)
How, by virtue of the Decretals, Gold is subtly drawn out of France into Rome
562(3)
Greatclod gives Pantagruel some Good-Christian Pears
565(1)
Pantagruel, on the high seas, hears various Words that have been thawed
566(2)
Pantagruel hears some gay Words among those that are thawed
568(2)
Pantagruel lands at the Home of Messer Gaster, the first Master of Arts in the World
570(2)
Pantagruel's dislike of the Engastrimythes and the Gastrolaters at the Court of this Master of Ingenuity
572(2)
Of the ridiculous Statue called manduce, also of how and what the Gastrolaters sacrifice to their Ventripotent God
574(3)
How the Gastrolaters sacrificed to their God, on the interlarded Fast-days
577(3)
Gaster's invention of a means of getting and preserving Corn
580(2)
Gaster invents an ingenious method of being neither wounded nor touched by Cannon-balls
582(2)
How Pantagruel fell asleep near the Island of Chaneph; and the Problems proposed on his Waking
584(3)
Pantagruel gives no answer to the Problems propounded
587(3)
Pantagruel passes the time gaily with his Retainers
590(2)
How, near Ganabin Island, a Salute was fired to the Muses, on Pantagruel's instructions
592(2)
Panurge shits himself out of utter fear, and of the large cat Rodilardus, which he took for a Devil
594(13)
The Fifth and Last Book
To All Kindly Readers
601(6)
How Pantagruel arrived at Ringing Island, and of the Noise we heard
607(2)
How the Ringing Island had been inhabited by the Siticines, who had turned into Birds
609(1)
How there is only one Popinjay in the Ringing Island
610(1)
How the Birds of Ringing Island were all Birds of Passage
611(2)
On the Dumbness of the Gormander-birds on Ringing Island
613(2)
How the Birds of Ringing Island are fed
615(1)
Panurge tells Master Æditus the Fable of the Horse and the Ass
616(4)
How with much difficulty we got a sight of the Popinjay
620(2)
A Landing on Tool Island
622(2)
Pantagruel arrives at Sharping Island
624(1)
How we passed the Wicket presided over by Clawpuss, the Archduke of the Furrycats
625(3)
Clawpuss propounds us a Riddle
628(2)
Panurge solves Clawpuss's Riddle
630(1)
How the Furrycats live on Bribery
631(2)
Friar John of the Hashes decides to plunder the Furrycats
633(3)
How Pantagruel came to the Island of Ignoramuses, who have long Fingers and crooked Hands; and of the terrible Adventures and Monsters he encountered there
636(5)
How we passed out
641(1)
How our Ship was stranded, and how we were aided by some Travellers who carried the Quintessence
642(3)
We arrive at the Kingdom of the Quintessence called Entelechy
645(2)
How the Quintessence cured the Sick by Music
647(2)
How the Queen passed her time after dinner
649(2)
Of the diverse Employments of the Officers of the Quintessence, and how the Lady engaged us in the capacity of Abstractors
651(2)
How the Queen's Supper was served, & of her way of eating it
653(2)
How a festive Ball, in the form of a Tournament, was held in the Quintessence's Presence
655(2)
The Battle between the Thirty-two at the Ball
657(5)
We land on the Isle of Odes, on which the Roads go up and down
662(2)
How we came to the Isle of Sandals; and of the Order of the Quavering Friars
664(4)
Panurge interrogates a Quavering Friar, and only gets monosyllablic answers
668(4)
Epistemon's Displeasure at the Institution of Lent
672(2)
Our Visit to Satinland
674(4)
How we saw Hearsay in Satinland, who kept a School for Witnesses
678(2)
How we came in Sight of Lanternland
680(1)
We land at the Port of the Midnight-oilers and enter Lanternland
680(2)
How we arrived at the Oracle of the Bottle
682(2)
How we approached the Temple of the Bottle by an Underground Way, and why Chinon is the finest City in the World
684(1)
Our Descent of the Tetradic Steps; and Panurge's fright
685(3)
How the Temple doors opened of themselves, in a marvellous Manner
688(1)
The marvellous Emblems on the Temple Pavement
689(2)
Bacchus's Victory over the Indians, as represented in the Mosaic-work of the Temple
691(2)
The good Bacchus's attack on the Indians as shown in the Temple Mosaics
693(1)
The wonderful Lamp which lit the Temple
694(2)
The Priestess Bacbuc shows us a curious Fountain inside the Temple
696(4)
How the Water of the Fountain tasted of different Wines according to the imagination of the Drinkers
700(1)
How Bacbuc dressed Panurge, to listen to the Verdict of the Bottle
701(1)
The Priestess Bacbuc leads Panurge into the presence of the Holy Bottle
702(2)
Bacbuc's interpretation of the Verdict of the Bottle
704(2)
How Panurge and the rest rhymed in a poetic Frenzy
706(3)
How we took leave of Bacbuc and left the Oracle of the Bottle
709

What People are Saying About This

Alain Renoir

Raffel has done the impossible...he has produced a text that is amazingly true to the meaning and the linguistic gusto of the original.

J. P. Donleavy

Grand to see this new rendition of a work full of what life is all about and translated with an equal authenticity.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

Gargantua and Pantagruel (Barnes & Noble Library of Essential Reading) 3.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 19 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
absolutly grosse, vile, and lewd, i can't believe that someone has written such a perfect novel. anyone who claims that classic litterature can't be fun, has not read this novel.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Bawdy and funny! A great read.
jwhenderson on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
In 1532 Francois Rabelais wrote a story about the giant Gargantua. For the following twenty years he would continue to write producing Gargantua and Pantagruel, the first great novel in French literature. This novel, in five parts chronicles the adventures of the giant Gargantua and his son Pantagruel. While many consider Rabelais a difficult writer, he is in many senses a modern novelist, rejecting the rules for the novel, if for no other reason than they had yet to be established. His translator, Burton Raffel, in preface to his 1994 edition, describes Rabelais as "something like a cross between James Joyce and Laurence Sterne (the latter, like Rabelais, an ordained clergyman)". Having read both Sterne and Joyce I would agree that Rabelais ' prose is like theirs, difficult but worth persevering. The bawdy humor helps make the reading a little easier, but I most enjoyed the many lists that Rabelais interjected including lists of fools, animals and food, among others. An excellent description of his style may be found in Mimesis, where Erich Auerbach writes:"The coarse jokes, the creatural concept of the human body, the lack of modesty and reserve in sexual matters, the mixture of such a realism with a satiric or didactic content, the immense fund of unwieldy and sometimes abstruse erudition, the employment of allegorical figures in the later books---all these and much else are to be found in the later Middle Ages. . . But Rabelais' entire effort is directed toward playing with things and with the mutiplicity of their possible aspects; upon tempting the reader out of his customary and definite way of regarding things, by showing him phenomena in utter confusion;"Rabelais demonstrates a freedom of vision, feeling, and thought that has led to his book being banned by some ever since it was first published. Remember "Marian, the librarian" from The Music Man? She was chastised by the town in part because she included Rabelais on the town library shelves. Many other towns, states and countries over the years have banned this book. For both this reason and for the vigorous humaneness demonstrated by Rabelais this is worth reading. If you are a reader like me you may share some vicarious pleasure in a romp through the middle ages with Rabelais.
endersreads on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I came to Rabelais through Laurence Sterne's "Tristram Shandy" and through Dave Praeger's "Poop Report" website.Upon reading the first hundred pages of "Gargantua and Pantagruel", I , like George Orwell, thought Rabelais was in need of psychoanalysis. Deeper into the books, I, like C.S. Lewis, came to understand that all Rabelais' written perversities were, dare I say, legitimized by the foundations of gospel. The book, we are to understand, was meant to be humorous, in the spirit of Shrovetide, of Mardi Gras, Twelfth Night. It was meant for the people, and the people consumed it with much pleasure, and still do. His influence is broad.Rabelais is today considered a Erasmian Christian humanist. You will also find within his writings the teachings of Erasmus' enemy, Martin Luther. I was absolutely fascinated by this. I was blown away with Rabelais' knowledge of the ancient philosophers, of medicine (he was a Doctor of Medicine), of theology (he was a Benedictine), of all things. Truly he was a Renaissance man of deep learning and also a perverse nut.M.A. Screech's new translation is wondrously filled with fulfilling footnotes. I am usually angered by footnotes and consider the writers of them to be boorish. Not so with Screech.It pains me to even attempt to review such a work, spanning 5 books and 1041 pages. I would like to digress on scatology, Panurge's codpiece, Pantagruel's stature, and much more, but I am overcome. I highly recommend Rabelais. I find myself quoting him on subjects throughout the day to people I come across. I feel I should perhaps one day read it again and take notes, while laughing aloud. I plan to read those Rabelais quoted so much: Plutarch, Virgil, Homer, Socrates, Plato, Pliny, Cicero, on and on. I wonder what his library looked like? On his lists: they are excellent and cover several pages at a time. For some reason I was sent into hysterics by: "Additional item: Toasted Tidbits".
Unreachableshelf on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
A wonderfully entertaining and clever book, even if it does suffer from a weakness in narrative that isn't uncommon in early novels. Example quote, "A toothache is never so bad as when a dog has you by the leg."
soliloquia on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Bawdily funny, grotesque and excessive in its descriptions. One of the most compelling of the hard classics; an encyclopedia of medieval marketplace culture.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Recommended for fans of The Satyricon.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was pretty amusing for an old book. I would read it again.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Rabelais does not need my help, and his place in the Literature of the West is secure. The encyclopediac comic mind of the first order exploring the human being with obsessive attention to physical and spiritual function and disfunction has amused generations of readers. Why I do not personally go for it so much I think relates to the reservations of my own character. I do not particularly love scatology .I am not impressed by reading accounts of how we relieve ourselves. More importantly I think the whole irreverent, satirical spirit that makes Rabelais so loved and laughed with by so many readers just does not bring me any joy. It seems to me too easy and cheap. There is also of course the longeurs in listing of the whole thing. And this without at all mentioning the particular place of the scholar's revolt in the world of his time. This is thought by many to be the funniest book of all time but I do not laugh at it this way. Who would however know the history of Western literature must know this work.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Yeah, he was believe it or not and he was kinda looped. He writes about all teh sinful things he couldn't partake in. This set of stores about the giants is absolutely appalling and funny as all get out at the same time.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I thought it was okay. I mean, if you like reading 16th century porn then go ahead. I had to read this book for an ethics class. First few chapter are okay but then they start talking about inappropriate things x.x. I reccomend this book to be read by an older audience (as if a teenager would understand old English anyways). Overall, I thought it was an easy read dispite its size and large amount of pages.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Honestly folks, I like scatalogical humor and irreverence as Much as the last fool , but this is not that funny . WHAT REALLY TURNED ME OFF WAS THE ANIMAL CRUELTY THAT PASSED FOR LAUGHS IN THOSE DAYS !