Dilemma: A Priest's Struggle with Faith and Love

Dilemma: A Priest's Struggle with Faith and Love

by Albert Cutie


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In this deeply personal and controversial memoir, Father Albert Cutié, once the poster boy of the Roman Catholic Church, tells of his devastating struggle between upholding his sacred promises as a priest and falling in love. Already conflicted with growing ideological differences with the Church, Cutié was forced to abruptly change his life the day that he was photographed on the beach, embracing the woman he would later make his wife.

The love that he deemed a blessing was bringing him closer to God, but further from the Church. In Dilemma, Cutié tells about breaking his vows, beginning a new way of life for oneself, and discovering a new way of serving God.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780451233899
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 01/03/2012
Pages: 272
Sales rank: 1,168,295
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Father Albert Cutié is now serving in the Episcopal Church as a married priest at The Church of the Resurrection in Biscayne Park, Florida. He is a member of several community service organizations and is the first Cuban-American to serve as a Trustee of the American Bible Society.

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Dilemma: A Priest's Struggle with Faith and Love 3.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 78 reviews.
catwalk More than 1 year ago
This book is like a little teen who got caught going against their parents wishes and uses every excuse to justify their case. Do you blame him? In truth, a priest can legitimately leave the priesthood and be secularized back to what the church calls a "lay" person. There is a process. Then he could have been married legitimately in the church and him and his wife would have been welcome members of the church. Actually, he still could go thru the process and come back into the church with his wife and child. That is why I read this as a man who got caught with his pants down and then wanted the cake and eat it too. He is a cry baby and holding the Church up as his sacrificial escape goat. If you read the book understand who is the child writing it and pointing fingers. Then go search the truth yourself. Try reading The Big Fisherman by Lloyd Douglas? (same author as The Robe) now that might instill some prespective.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a book that makes you think about the struggles many people have not with faith but with religious institutions. Wonderfully written. I read it in 2 days-could not put it down.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is a must read for anyone of any faiths, who's struggled with the role of religion in their lives. I would also recommend that you buy "When God Stopped Keeping Score" which tackles the power of God in forgiveness. I saw it recommended in another post and brought it, and loved it, so I am returning the favor. That book changed my life for the best. ;)
CasperAZ More than 1 year ago
I read "Dilemma" in a single day. I can present the following excerpt from "Dilemma" to prove the hypocrisy that exists among the Catholic clergy: A lesbian goes to Confession where Father Cutie is presiding. She is extremely upset and crying. She tells Father Cutie that she had gone to Confession to another priest and was scolded that she and her partner risk eternal salvation if their relationship continues. Father Cutie asked who told her such a thing. When she tells him the name of the priest, Father Cutie reveals that the priest is a closeted Gay man who is currently partnered and he is mean to any Gay person who confesses to him. Father Cutie has always welcomed Gay people to the Catholic Church and never believed that they are "intrinsically disordered." Regarding the issue of celibacy, Father Cutie discusses celibacy with the force of a tsunami. He historically tracks down the issue of celibacy dating back to the 12th century when it became compulsory. He states that celibacy is a main ingredient for the current sex abuse scandal in the Catholic Church. Albert Cutie made it an aspiration to take up the cause for Immigration Reform in the United States because his ancestors came from Cuba and he had heard of the executions and suffering under the Castro regime. The Archbishop of Miami immediately issued a proclamation condemning Father Cutie for his "scandal" against the Catholic Church when pictures were revealed in the press with Albert and Ruhama kissing each other on the beach. Father Albert was stripped of his salary, pension, and health benefits. Father Albert was disgusted with this condemnation and stated that priests who molested children were dealt less severely than he. I liked Father Cutie's description of the Catholic Church as being "antiseptic" and wanting to rid itself of germs (priests whom they view to go against their dictates). Father Cutie had plenty of support from his own family for marrying Ruhama and later becoming an ordained Episcopal priest. To be adversarial, there were some enemies who hurt Father Cutie with vicious words. For example, he and his wife attended his niece's first Holy Communion at a Catholic Church in Florida where he grew up. The priest during his homily talked about the evils of this world and explicitly looked at Albert and Ruhama when he scolded those who dropped out of the Catholic Church. Father Cutie revealed in his book that he was really hurt by those words. Father Cutie has written a powerful book that should not fall on deaf ears in the Vatican. "Dilemma" is a book that will ignite sparks in the Catholic Church and rightfully so. "Dilemma" will inspire Catholics who want change in the Catholic Church because the Vatican is certainly not listening.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I felt that the book was repetive and lacked depth.
CatbirdFL More than 1 year ago
This book is very repetetive and not well organized. It could have been written in one-third of the pages. Although I am sadly aware that much of what Albert says is true with regard to the Catholic Church (and the brotherhood of priests in particular), this book was obviously written to 1) self-serve, and 2) retaliate against those whom he felt had hurt and betrayed him. What ever happened to turning the other cheek? Albert, with regard to the wonderful and innocent man of God you profess to be throughout the book, the book's existence is pretty telling.
discernment More than 1 year ago
Sad. The book tells the tale of a Priest who discusses the confessions of others under the premise of exposing hypocrisy. Perhaps it is Mr. Cutie that thinks he forgives sins because he apparently feels open to discussion of some he has a point of view about. He implies that he has the best insight on biblical teaching and the Pope is out of date, particularly he feels the gay & lesbian lifestyle should not be spoken about in any but a positive light. I know some Priests who would admit to having gay feelings but they chose to suppress those feelings and live a lifestyle accepted for Priests. The Church does not condemn them to hell just because they may still have but not act on those feelings. Mr. Cutie would have you believe that it does. Cutie might do a bit of self inspection before writing a book for money. I personally am confused. He takes a vow with the Church but then he breaks that vow in silence and goes on dates on a public Florida beach with a woman he eventually marries. Apparently he also believes one simply make vows and disposes of them once your life encounters a change. He did not leave the Church before taking to the beach because he did not care what message let's say he would give to a child of a parish member on that Florida beach and what message that child might take from his actions. That is OK in Cutie's mind because life is first and foremost about "you/him" not service to others. Christ said forsake all and follow him. He didn't add until you meet someone, decide to date for awhile and then decide if you want to be a full time member of the role, in this case of disciple. He might look at the bible where it refers to millstones around the neck of people that mislead a child. Mr. Cutie is not focused on Church teaching, he is talking social justice in this book and how the Church must change. Personally, I too am accepting of the idea that Priests be allowed to marry. But we're I the new wife of Mr. Cutie I might keep an open eye on how he keeps this particular vow. Or perhaps, keep an eye on the beaches. Father Cutie's book will make liberal/progressives happy for it gives more opportunity to attack the Catholic Church than to speak of its many wonderful acts, beliefs and teaching. I wonder if Father Cutie really cares that the book could well cause more damage to souls than good. Father Cutie wrote the book to shift the dilemma away from himself and to move it so as to appear it is the Catholic Church that has the dilemma. Any Priest is able to leave and marry. The book gives much opportunity for liberals and progressives to criticize the Church. I wonder if he cares if in the end it causes more harm to souls than help?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It is obvious this man is in need of prayers especially for the salvation of his soul. The book is not worth the time. It is a book written to make a quick buck. It has made me think twice about purchasing future books published by Celbra.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved that father cutie gave his honest opinion while also providing facts about the roman catholic churches that many question but no one would speak about!!! It was definitely an inspirational book that answered a lot of my own questions and even opened my mind about other branches of Christianity.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Could have been written in less than 50 pages.
MickeyMT More than 1 year ago
This is the story of a kid who had his candy taken away and now has to tell everyone how unfair that was. For ten years he lead a double life. He is the priest who was called "Father Oprah" because of a highly popular TV show. He had a radio talk show and a column in the newspapers. He had been carrying on an affair with a woman he was in love with for ten years. He led this woman on for ten years!! Finally, he got caught on a beach in Florida by a photographer who saw the two of them and exposed the affair. Why didn't this priest just leave the priesthood when he realized he was in love. Why? Because he had a TV show, a talk radio show and a newspaper column which would never have happened if he wasn't a priest. After he was caught did he suddenly realize that he had taken a vow of celibacy and now the Catholic church is the scapegoat that he can blame everything on? What a baby!!! In one instance after another he defends accused sex offenders by saying that the church abandoned them. Man, get real! These priest abused and traumatized children and he states that the church should have called them or had written them a letter to show support. I can't fathom his thinking. Wouldn't even give this book one star but since it is required, I did it. If you need your blood pressure raised then buy this book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I believe Father Cutie' was being as honest as possible. His writing truly seems to be a soul searching memoir. I can understand that the Roman Catholic church would be upset by many of the revelations here but I see this priest as representing the dilemma faced by innumerable priests over the ages. How sad that the church cannot see fit to bring itself up to modern day standards. They are missing out on having many young people who would happily dedicate their lives if celibacy was not demanded of them. No wonder the elderly priests die lonely and forgotten. The church bureaucracy has totally denied them the love of a life partner and children as well. Thank goodness he has finally moved on and made a real life for himself, the woman he loves and their children. They have my admiration.
pattiMG More than 1 year ago
The problem I have is why not just go away quietly and not make a profit on your choice? Trying to justify his decision he loses me. I get it, you were not cut out to be a priest so why belittle the Catholics and the Catholic priests who did not make the same decision.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The author needs to do his soul searching alone with his God. He seems to hav forgotten some of the basic tentents of the faith he espouses.
mjmbecky on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Although you might think the story is about his "dilemma" to leave the church for the woman he loved, the book is set up much more to examine the practice of celibacy. From the beginning of his story, to the last several chapters that are more of a persuasive essay on the negative side of celibacy, his book seems to be more of an argument against celibacy and more about the acceptance of married priests and an acknowledgment of sexuality as a part of mankind. As such, and with this thesis, the book comes together with a pretty powerful message that man's sexual nature cannot just be demonized and then skirted around or ignored, but must be addressed and encouraged in positive ways. In fact, Cutie has strong empathy for priests who have been demonized or cast aside because of scandals that have reflected badly on the church. One of his main issues with priesthood, as he currently see it, is that those who remain to secretly carry on sexual affairs and such are more successful in the priesthood than those who choose to share their struggles and desires and want to get help. This has then encouraged a culture of secrecy that reaches the highest levels of the church and continues to create an atmosphere where men joining the priesthood continues to plummet.I remember seeing Father Cutie and his now wife in the pictures that broke in the news across the country, and even his later interview on the Oprah Show. Yes, it was big news that this famous Roman Catholic priest was caught canoodling on a beach in Miami, and I remember thinking that he was incredibly naive to think he could go out on a beach somewhere with a woman and NOT get caught! In the book, he describes what led up to this and how he had already admitted in his own confessions to another priest his feelings for his now wife. At this point, his disillusionment with the priesthood, the issue of celibacy, and the entire sexual scandal that continued to hang over all priests in the church was a bigger issue than even his decision to leave the priesthood to get married. His decision was not between the woman he loved and the priesthood, it was between his faith and his priesthood. In essence, had he not been caught, he could have continued a secret relationship with her and never admitted to any of it. However, because of his own determination to leave the Catholic church, he left and joined the Episcopal church, where he is currently serving as a married priest (who was also expecting a baby girl with his wife at the time the book was written).As I'm not Catholic, I have to say that I was unfamiliar with priests and what they have to do to join the priesthood. Fr. Cutie's explanation of the priesthood and the troubles it encounters were extremely enlightening, especially considering the horrific spread and cover up of sexual abuse that has been uncovered across the country. Cutie shares at a later section of the book that studies within the priesthood show that over half of all priests are homosexual, leading to a serious question about the forced cover up that is actually encouraging men who want to be faithful Catholics to choose priesthood and celibacy as a way of avoiding that lifestyle. The church has recognized this to be a real challenge, and although homosexuality is not a precursor to becoming a pedophile, it has pushed all sexuality into the closet (so to say) and caused some priests to express their desires in secret and undesirable ways. As part of his argument, Cutie takes on sexuality and desire as part of his thesis that the modern church (all churches) need to address sexuality as a part of man's normal, natural development, and to take it out of the shadows of secret and shame. His arguments are strong, and seem to make a great deal of sense from my outside point of view, but I wonder how the Catholic church would tackle these issues of priesthood celibacy, women in the priesthood, and even birth control.Dilemma is a very well written book,
Lezmajz46 More than 1 year ago
there is no problem he married or he left the church for a woman. my problem with him is that he was lying a long period of time to the church, the his fellow priests, to the youth group, to every one in his parish . and now he blame the church ??!! Hypocrite !! is what he is
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Too much repitition in this book. Could have been written in 100 pages.
AnnetteCB More than 1 year ago
As I closed the back cover of "Dilemma", I raised my arm and said "Yes!" It was so amazing to read, from an insider, all the problems that I myself had been having with the Catholic church for so long. Rev. Cutie's many dilemmas with the Church were fully realized through the crisis he experienced when his love for a woman was made public. In a church that expects its priests to be emotional enough to care for their flock and to work hard at it, how can they also expect their priests to just turn off that same emotion with regard to their own personal lives? Cutie also points out that priests are routinely moved from one parish to another, and again, they are just supposed to close off their feelings for the members of the old parish as if they were robots. The Catholic policing of communion is raised, where the Church feels it can deny the Eucharist to anyone they deem unworthy (or un-Catholic) despite Christ's example of the Last Supper where it was open to all believers. There are more examples of the type of controlling behavior I can only describe as a kind of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, where the Catholic church's image of themselves is always perfect and ultimately arrogant. Any problems are always the fault of others, never themselves. Many Catholics grow up with the supposed fact of 'One True Faith' so that it becomes a kind of ethnicity, and one that is hard to break free from. Ultimately one must leave behind childish things, grow up, think for yourself and decide what level of honesty you will support. In today's world where the Catholic church has petitions outside worship services wanting their parishioners to deny gays the right to marry as they enter the worship space, Rev. Cutie's humanity comes through loud and clear and continues to reverberate.
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