About the Author
SUSAN RABENS is a consultant specializing in individual, group, couples, and family therapy. She works with and has lectured at high schools, community colleges, and professional organizations. Part of her practice has included FuturePlans, an innovative program she designed for college-bound students, adults, and seniors in school, work, and retirement transitions.
Table of Contents
I. THE PLAYING FIELD.
1. The Teen Scene.
How Life Has Changed and How It Has Not. Today's Teen Scene. Future Shock. Friends to the End. Modern Times. Teen Dating in the New Millennium.
2. Everyone into the Game.
Get Ready, Get Set, Go! Am I Just Out of It? Let's Sort Things Out. It Really Is a Game. The Fundamentals of the Game. It's a Game-Not a Race.
3. Your Relationship with Relationships.
Defining a Relationship. Relationships Have Their Own Lives. “Real-ationships”. You Already Have Experience with Relationships. You've Got a Friend. You Have a Relationship with Yourself.
4. Building a Relationship.
Knowing Yourself. Knowing What Kind of Friend You Want. Knowing What Kind of Friend You Want to. Questioning Your Friendships. Friendships and Communications. Making Friends Who Are Different Than You. Sustaining a Relationship. Changing Relationships.
II. THE DATING GAME.
5. Asking for a Date.
Getting Up for the Game. Defining a Date. Asking Her Out: The Male Perspective. Asking Him Out: The Female Perspective. Being Asked Out.
6. The Varieties of Dates.
Dating in the Twenty-First Century. Dating: The Wide Varieties. Knowing What to.
7. The Date Begins.
Identify the Dating Basics. Learn the Fine Art of Communication. Laugh and the World Laughs with You. Mind Your Manners. What to Do When the Date Is Done.
8. Keeping Things Going.
Momentum: Setting the Date in Motion. Including Friends in Your Date. Meeting the Parents. Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve. Recognizing the Signs of Attraction. Saying Good Night: The End of the Date.
9. Getting Serious.
Thinking About Getting Serious. “Going Steadily”. Going Steady. Coping with Conflict. Getting Through Arguments.
10. Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.
It Ain't Gonna Be Easy. How Does It End? What Are the Danger Signs? How Do You Stop Going Out? What Do You Do Now? What Have You Learned?
III. TRAINING FOR THE DATING GAME: YOUR BEHAVIOR IS YOU.
11. The Search for Your Identity.
Being Up for the Game. Looking at Yourself in the Mirror. Knowing Your Role in the Family. Independence Day. Seeing Yourself as a Person. Seeing Yourself as a Boyfriend or Girlfriend.
12. Your Values and Passions.
Choosing Your Role Models. Developing Principles. Achieving Maturity. Developing Responsibility. Looking to the Future, but Living in the Present. Choosing a Direction. Sharing and Privacy. Knowing When It Feels Right.
13. Dealing with Your Emotions.
Trust and Honesty: The Bedrock of Emotional Stability. Coping with Jealousy. Dealing with Anger and Letting Go of Grudges. Doing Away with Guilt. Avoiding Obsession. Getting a Handle on Anxiety. Moodiness. Handling Depression. Looking at the World Through Cynical Eyes. Going for the Joy.
14. Making Decisions.
Why Are Decisions Important? How Do You Make Decisions? Can You Live with Your Decisions? Can You Change Your Mind?
15. Parents: Your Own and Your Date's.
Abiding by the Rules of the House. Learning the Rules of the Road. Complying with Curfews. Handling Criticism. What if They Don't Like Your Partner? Developing Better Relationships with Your Parents.
IV. ADVANCED PLAYS: LOVE AND SEX.
16. Falling in Love.
What Are the Different Kinds of Love? Is It Love? What Does It Mean? What Does Love Tell You About Yourself?
17. Staying in Love.
Discovering How to Stay in Love. Keeping Tabs. Love Changes You.
18. Sexuality and Sex.
What Is Sex? Is Sex a Natural Part of Dating? Is Everyone Doing It? What Happens to Your Relationship After Sex? Is Your Relationship a Partnership?
19. Ready or Not?
Know the Difference Between Love and Sex. Time to See if It's Time. Remember the First Time. Behave Responsibly and Maturely.
20. Know the Score: Be Careful!
For Every Action There Is a Reaction. Preventing Pregnancy. Preventing Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Knowing the Truth About AIDS. Facing Pregnancy: What to Do When Birth Control Fails. Facing the Emotional Consequences of Sexual Activity. Lessons Learned.