Atomic Lobster (Serge Storms Series #10)

Atomic Lobster (Serge Storms Series #10)

by Tim Dorsey

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Serge A. Storms is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of the blood-soaked McGraw criminal clan, whose nastiest, meanest member, finally released from prison, is heading south bent on revenge. Serge's drug-addled bud Coleman's here as well, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered, while trying to construct the biggest bong ever. Meanwhile the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security. Something has set the Non-Confrontationalists off on a rampage. And everyone is rushing to flee Tampa on a cruise ship to hell.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780060829704
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 12/30/2008
Series: Serge Storms Series , #10
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 137,720
Product dimensions: 4.10(w) x 6.70(h) x 1.40(d)

About the Author

Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999, and is the author of twenty-one novels: Pope of Palm Beach, Clownfish Blues, Coconut Cowboy, Shark Skin Suite, Tiger Shrimp Tango, The Riptide Ultra-Glide, When Elves Attack, Pineapple Grenade, Electric Barracuda, Gator A-Go-Go, Nuclear Jellyfish, Atomic Lobster, Hurricane Punch, The Big Bamboo, Torpedo Juice, Cadillac Beach, The Stingray Shuffle, Triggerfish Twist, Orange Crush, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, and Florida Roadkill. He lives in Tampa, FL.

Read an Excerpt

Atomic Lobster

Chapter One

The day before the incident at the Sunshine Skyway bridge

Ten a.m. Soon, the regular afternoon sun showers would roll in from the east to cool things down. But for now, another sticky, cloudless morning in Tampa. Palm trees. Broken taillight glass. No wind. Minimum-wage people perspired under a covered bus stop at the southern end of the transit line. A '73 Mercury Comet entered the parking lot of a decaying shopping center and headed up a row of tightly packed cars.

Coleman twisted a fat one in his lips. "I'm bored."

"Just keep an eye out for cops." The Mercury reached the end of the row, made a U-turn and started up another. Serge assessed each empty vehicle, but nothing felt right.

"What about your first plan?" asked Coleman, flicking a Bic. "You said it would definitely work."

"It did." Serge glanced down at the Macy's sack atop the drivetrain hump on the floor between their feet. "Line the inside of a shopping bag by gluing ten layers of aluminum foil, then more strips along the seams. Guaranteed to defeat most stores' security detectors."

"What did you steal?"

"More foil. I ran out making my bag."

"Being broke sucks."

"Just watch for cops."

The Comet turned up another row.

"See anything?" asked Coleman.


"Then why are you smiling?"

"Because I love this shopping center. Britton Plaza." Serge pointed his camera out the windshield. "Note the giant, fifties-era arch over the sign. Not many left." Click. "And that movie theater. Sidewalks got jack-hammered in front of all theother stores for new ones, but they preserved the original marbleized pavement in front of the cinema with its metal inlays of happy-sad thespian masks, which I can never get enough of and—Hold everything!"

"What is it? Why are you slowing?"

"That old woman with the walker. Range, fifty yards." He reached under his seat for a crowbar.

"Serge! It's an old lady!"

"I'm not going to hit her." He rolled down his window and rested the steel shaft on the door frame. "Timing's absolutely crucial."

"What's happening?"

"Watch carefully. It'll all be over in a blink."

"I don't see anything. What am I supposed to be looking for? . . . Holy shit! That punk just nailed her in the face and snatched her purse!"

Serge didn't answer, his foot twitching on the gas pedal.

"He's running toward us!" yelled Coleman.

"Steady . . . steady . . . Now!" Serge hit the accelerator. Tires squealed. He swung the crowbar, clothes-lining the thief in the Adam's apple. Legs flew out. A body slammed to the pavement. The Comet stopped.

Serge opened the door and herded stray contents back into the purse. He returned to the car, driving a few seconds to a group of Good Samaritans who'd run to the woman's aid.

"Hey!" yelled Serge, hanging out the driver's window and twirling the handbag by its strap like a lasso. "Here's her purse. Catch . . ."

Serge slammed the gearshift in reverse. The Comet squiggled backward and screeched to a halt next to an unsteady man trying to get his footing.

Serge jumped out again. "Let me help you up." A knee to the crotch. "Coleman, the trunk."

"I'm on it."

A half minute later, the Comet skidded out of the parking lot and turned north on Dale Mabry Highway. "That really pissed me off."

"Me too," said Coleman. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing."

"It's the decline of the Florida shopping experience." Serge sped up to make a yellow light. "Old ladies getting mugged, no more S&H Green Stamps."

The Gulf of Mexico was typically serene, rippling with a leisurely wake behind the SS Serendipity on its return voyage from Cozumel. Three hundred miles to the mouth of Tampa Bay. A row of luxury suites on the port side faced the shimmering water. The second cabin from the end, number 6453, was registered to three Latin men in white linen suits. They were accompanied by a fourth occupant, decidedly against his will. Heels dragged across the carpet as the others muscled him into the bathroom.

"But I delivered the shipment just like you said! Didn't you get it?"

"We got it," said Tommy Diaz. He hung a trifold canvas case from the shower head and unsnapped it. The bag fell open to reveal a nineteen-piece kitchen cutlery set.

"W-w-what are those for?" asked the guest, now pinned to the bottom of the tub.

"Rafael, tape his mouth."

"Wait! Stop! Just hold on a second! . . . I don't understand. I did everything I was supposed to. You said you got the shipment."

Tommy pulled the largest carving knife from its sheath, touching the tip with his finger. "And don't think it's not appreciated."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"Because you know about the shipment."

Tape went over the mouth. The hostage's terrified eyes looked up at a trio of faces looking back down: the Diaz Brothers. Tommy, Rafael and Benito. Used to be the Diaz Boys, ten years ago when cousin Juan was involved. Juan was allowed in the gang because they swore to his mom that they'd treat him like a brother. Then Juan died in a tragic hurricane accident when they wouldn't let him into a cramped storm shelter because he was the cousin. That left them short with only two, so they let baby brother Benito into the gang like Andy Gibb.

"Rafael," said Tommy. "Turn up the stereo. This could get noisy."

". . . Send lawyers, guns and money . . ."

"Hey, Tommy. It's the Z-man."

"Will you get back in here? He's a wiggler."

"Listen to all that racket he's making," said Rafael, "even with the mouth tape."

"This will quiet him down," said Tommy. "Hold those shoulders still."

". . . get me out of this! . . ."

Tommy thrust with a firm crossing motion.

"Goddammit!" said Rafael. "Look at my new shirt!"

"Told you to hold him still," said Tommy. "It's like you've never worked with arterial spray before."

"I'll teach him to fuck up my threads!" Rafael reached for the cutlery set. "Bleed on me, motherfucker? . . . Take this! . . . And this! . . . And this! . . . And this! . . ."

Atomic Lobster. Copyright © by Tim Dorsey. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

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Atomic Lobster (Serge Storms Series #10) 3.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 102 reviews.
JDubWB More than 1 year ago
I look forward to each new Serge Storm book by Tim Dorsey. This time, he's right in tune with all of his previous wacko, off-the wall books in Atomic Lobster. When the myriad plot twists all come together on a cruise liner, you wonder if Captain Stubing and Gopher will make an appearance. Characters come back from Triggerfish Lane skillfully woven into fabric of the plot yielding a surprise ending. Plus, this book had the added advantage of several "scenes" set in the Tampa neighborhood where I grew up. There's only one thing wrong with Tim Dorsey's books and that is that they only come out once a year--there's not enough of them! But, they leave the reader eagerly anticipating what Serge and Coleman will come up with next. It's just too bad that no one has made a series of movies!
TriviaGuy More than 1 year ago
Warning: do not attempt to read this book in public while consuming food or beverage. You will either choke yourself or spray innocent bystanders. How can you combine sex, drugs, rock and roll, apparently untreated psychosis, "justifiable" yet creative homicide, an aging football star, group therapy for the excessively timid - that is overtaken by the poster boy for in-your-face confrontation, and an assortment of nefarious characters into something that you just can't put down? Read this book. I haven't laughed out loud as much since the last Dorsey offering.
tututhefirst on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Abandon ship! That's exactly what I did after the first disc of this horrible audio book. I enjoy satire, I really do. I get it. I don't mind some sex and violence in my books, (or my listens) but this "hero" (and I almost choke as I write that word) Serge A. Storms, is a vicious, stupid, anti-social excuse for a character. This book is nothing but some post-adolescent fantasy about being nasty to people in every way you can think of, and frankly, my real world is nasty enough without inviting Serge and his more than mildly demented friends in. Think of it as The Three Stooges meet Freddy Kroeger. I'm reasonable picky about what food I eat, so I shouldn't expect my mind to digest garbage either.
omphalos02 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Insane and wonderful adventure - not for the faint-hearted, for sure - but still a lot of fun.
jrr731 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The book starts of with chapters of what seem like random, unrelated characters, each in their own story. As the book progresses the characters worlds start colliding at a breakneck speed until the very end when everyone seems to be in the same place at the sometime. The ending was just as funny, unlikely, and satisfying as the rest of the book. I will be picking up some of the earlier books in this series.
KC9333 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Dorsey is Carl Hiaasen on steriods - quirky, over-the -top, descriptions of wacky people who call Florida home. While the situations clearly stretch believability, if you spend any time in the state, you will see much that rings true. The gratuitous violence and sex are not for everyone....but if this sounds like your genre prepare to laugh out loud. Grab this book on a rainy, gray day somewhere in the US and transport yourself to Dorsey's vision of Florida for a fast fun read ......The sidebar storyline of the 4 elderly retirees alone is worth the read.....
thokar on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Serge is at it again, wondering what's happened since Triggerfish Lane? Once again Serge is out to protect his best friend Jim and as with any Serge story it ends up in murder, violence, drugs, and crazy schemes. Tim Dorsey once again produces a funny tale about life in Florida, Serge style.
Hagelstein on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The hyperactive Floridacentric Serge and substance-addled Coleman return dead center in the vortex of a fast moving interwoven thread of story lines that converge on a cruise ship off the Florida coast. Along the way Dorsey skewers real estate agents, movers, the cruise industry, retirees, people with money, people without money, criminals, cops, terrorists, and strippers. Another book of stylish mass-murder, snappy writing and plain fun with story elements recognizable to anyone who's read a Florida newspaper recently.
pandalibrarian on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
What a wild ride! I've read most all of Carl Hiaasen's books but this was something else! Sex, drugs, and violence are commonplace in this funny, weird novel set in Florida. Serge Storms is the main character - he's weird, funny, inventive and a criminal. His partner, Coleman, is a drug addict who's always looking for the next fix. That's not all, we also meet the G-Unit - four women in their nineties who have made "cruising" a way of life - literally. They've discovered that it's cheaper (and more fun) to go on cruises than stay in their apartments. Jim and Martha Davenport were victims of a home invasion a number of years ago (Serge and Coleman were involved somehow). Tex McGraw perpetrated that crime and was recently released from prison with a "revenge list" - and the Davenport's are on that list. In the process of "protecting" the Davenport's, Serge and Coleman destroy a house, kill a couple of people, and go on a cruise - and the Davenport's are still alive at the end. Throw in some smuggling, the mob, and espionage and it's one action-packed read! It's not for the faint of heart, however - the graphic violence and sex aren't for everyone.
mrstreme on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Atomic Lobster was one fast ride. It¿s a story about Serge A. Storms, a criminal who always ends up helping the underdog, and his motley crew consisting of Coleman, a pothead alcoholic, and Rachael, a coke-sniffing stripper. In this story, Serge is hell-bent on protecting Jim Davenport, who saved Serge¿s life ten years prior and is being hunted down by a serial killer. It¿s also the story of four old ladies who have learned that it¿s cheaper to go on cruises all year than to live in a retirement home. And it¿s a story of the Mexican drug trade and terrorist attempts to poison Americans with anthrax. All of these subplots rapidly weave and twist their way through the story, until the end when they all come together in an Old West-meets -Florida fashion.This story is not one of my usual genres, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the book. Excuse my eighth grade vernacular, but there¿s something totally cool about seeing familiar streets, shopping centers, bridges, bars and cultural events in a book. The characters drive up the road I take to work every morning. They stop at a shopping center where I used to work. It¿s like seeing your neighbor on TV over and over again, and this helped make Atomic Lobster very amusing to me.Dorsey also chose ¿only in Florida¿ new stories and mixed them into the story. I am not sure if a non-local would ¿get¿ the humor behind a toll booth operator alerting police that a man¿s body was stuck to the front of a car, or a house being sold dirt cheap because the owner, who was a county official, cut corners on code enforcement. But for a local, this is funny stuff. From the state the brought you hanging chads and the president¿s brother, Florida does not get enough credit for being a little bit backwards. Read Dorsey and you¿ll get a huge dose of the absurdity that can be the Sunshine State.If you like dark humor and high crime, and don¿t mind the sex, drugs and rock-and-roll, then I would recommend Atomic Lobster to you. If it¿s not your cup of tea and you don¿t live in the Tampa Bay area, I think you can safely skip this book.
pritday on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book is laugh-out-loud funny! Follow the zany adventures (complete with drugs and sex) of Serge Storms, Coleman, along with other characters. Actually, that's the main problem I have with the book; there are way too many characters to keep straight! If you don't have a problem with sex, drugs, and a ton of characters than this book is for you!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
1. If there is swearing or anything of that type please say it has mature content. 2. Only write good reveiws please. As in, dont say the story sucks. Say they should work on it a little more. Constructive critisizem. 3. Fanfics and ero<_>tica are allowed along with original stories. 4. Follow the rules. 5. Have fun! Write in next result!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
"Whoa hold up there buddy. I aint the hugging type"
pengesser More than 1 year ago
I wasn't sure I would like this but it got me hooked after the first few pages. A little mystery involved and the answer is not revealed till the end(of course). I really enjoyed it and hope you do too. I would definitely like to read more from Mr. Dorsey.
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